20 Days Till 30: The avoidable topic

| Posted by Lou | The time is 11.45 here in London UK |

I guess with no ability to post images I can stop avoiding the biggest disappointment I've caused myself in the last couple of years, which is my complete lack of follow-through on a promise I made myself 2 years ago.

There was a point in early-2008 where I decided I was not going to do anymore PA jobs as they're a big fat "go nowhere" for a woman in the commercial media organisations (and earn too little to bother in smaller ones). It lasted several months, but then I ran out of money...

I was filling in for someone when they mentioned that a new senior figure was joining the studios arm of the business, so I took it on for 6 weeks. And he and I got along well and he doesn't treat me like a secretary or a moron, and so I took the job long-term. (The money helped in this decision!)

But the compromise I made to myself was that I would get back into scriptwriting, so as to keep myself involved in film (whether literally or just psychologically). I promptly sat down and wrote the first half of a short film that has been running through my mind for years now.

And I haven't touched it since.

The variety of excuses include: I'll wait till I have my own place and can concentrate better (hmm nope no progress since moving into my new place); work is stressful - I'll wait till I can think more clearly (err no nothing changes with the waning tides of work stress); next time I have a free Sunday I'll get it out again (um nah, hasn't happened despite many a carefree Sunday); I'll wait till after summer/ Christmas/ Easter/ [whatever holiday]/ Birthday...

Basically I've just completely lost motivation and can't be fucked.

Now I'm facing potentially having to find a new job (again with the determination of not getting trapped into PA work), and realise what a difference it would make if I had a funded short film script under my belt.

Oh well, there's always my 30s...

2 thoughts on “20 Days Till 30: The avoidable topic”

  1. Hi lovely lady,

    well, firstly I wanted to say this is the situation I found myself in when turning 30 last year (yes I am THAT ancient :P)... anyway. I was back in NZ, on the cusp of thirty, dumped, broke, living with my parents and in a job I utterly despised. All because I "needed the money".

    The thing is, there is always 'the money'. But we need to weigh up what means more to us. I think you should follow your passion. Find a way to use some external motivation, join a writers group for starters. They will certainly give you a kick up the arse and being surrounded by people with similar interest helps loads.

    I used my experience from last year to propel me into this masters and it has stood me in really good stead. I am one of the older in this course and thats awesome as I really know what I want and my capacities as opposed to the early 20s whippersnappers.

    Set real goals for yourself and mark it on the calendar, approach the BBC and ask about how you float a script idea, c'mon. You're an extremely incredible, intelligent resourceful woman, get out there! And let us know how you get on.