| Posted by Lou | The time is 11.45 here in London UK |
I guess with no ability to post images I can stop avoiding the biggest disappointment I've caused myself in the last couple of years, which is my complete lack of follow-through on a promise I made myself 2 years ago.
There was a point in early-2008 where I decided I was not going to do anymore PA jobs as they're a big fat "go nowhere" for a woman in the commercial media organisations (and earn too little to bother in smaller ones). It lasted several months, but then I ran out of money...
I was filling in for someone when they mentioned that a new senior figure was joining the studios arm of the business, so I took it on for 6 weeks. And he and I got along well and he doesn't treat me like a secretary or a moron, and so I took the job long-term. (The money helped in this decision!)
But the compromise I made to myself was that I would get back into scriptwriting, so as to keep myself involved in film (whether literally or just psychologically). I promptly sat down and wrote the first half of a short film that has been running through my mind for years now.
And I haven't touched it since.
The variety of excuses include: I'll wait till I have my own place and can concentrate better (hmm nope no progress since moving into my new place); work is stressful - I'll wait till I can think more clearly (err no nothing changes with the waning tides of work stress); next time I have a free Sunday I'll get it out again (um nah, hasn't happened despite many a carefree Sunday); I'll wait till after summer/ Christmas/ Easter/ [whatever holiday]/ Birthday...
Basically I've just completely lost motivation and can't be fucked.
Now I'm facing potentially having to find a new job (again with the determination of not getting trapped into PA work), and realise what a difference it would make if I had a funded short film script under my belt.
Oh well, there's always my 30s...