sassy is convenient

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 30

2011-11-21T21:37:00.006Z

| by Lou | 9.38pm UK time |

Your favourite film of all time

(Took me long enough! I've actually had this sitting in drafts almost finished for a month... New job, lovely man (Michelle did very well with that set-up) conspired to distract me from ever finishing this.)

At last. The final one. I've known all along what the film would be:

On the Waterfront

I fucking love this film. The main reason why can be summed up in two words: Marlon Brando.

I'm going to use an adjective I've never before had cause to put into a sentence:

His performance in this film is incandescent.

Of course in it he delivers one of the most famous pieces of acting ever - the "I coulda been a contender" speech. I knew this scene long before I saw it, and even with the high expectations and the foreknowledge it is still a stellar moment of acting.

But in this film he gives an overall performance of raw power and tender softness that transcends a single moment of celluloid legend. I love the swoon-worthy moments of delicacy and vulnerability:

When he picks up the girl's glove and sub-consciously puts it on his own hand.

When he pushes her against the wall and kisses her to the floor.

He is simply stunning across every frame, every line, every scene.

A film about a waterfront union dispute sounds rather bland and dry. But for me in Brando's performance* is a film about something (or someone) shaking up your life and leading to a catharthis where you find within yourself an integrity, a strength, a goodness and a sense of pride you didn't even know you were capable of.

Marlon Brando, Terry Malloy - I salute you.

*I say Brando's performance to try and detatch from the dodgy political context of the Elia Kazan and Budd Schulberg McCarthyist thing - I choose to detatch this from my own experience of the film, having not known about it when I first saw and fell in love with it.

Farewell from Bel!

2011-11-02T04:09:00.000Z

| by Bel | 4.53pm NZ time |

I'm done blogging on Sassy Is Convenient for now. I'm tapping out!

You can find me as @Annabel_HM on Twitter or on tumblr.

xxx

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 30

2011-11-01T03:32:00.001Z

| by Bel | 3.35pm NZ time |

Your favourite film of all time

My favourite film? My favourite? Singular?? Choose just one?!
Yeah right.

Because then I'd have to decide whether I like Amelie better than The Philadelphia Story!

Or find some way of comparing Clueless with La Haine. Both of which are films I love, but for very different reasons.

And I just saw Drive on Sunday, and I easily think that could go onto the Best Movies Evaaaaaah list.

And most of all, I am always hoping that I am yet to see my favourite film.

Recipe: Kiwi Jaffa Tart

2011-10-23T15:15:00.007+01:00

| by Lou | 4.10pm UK time |

Oh, hello blog. Sorry. We've been neglecting you. Um, how about some home baking to get things pumping again?

Earlier this year I had a wonderous Jaffa Tart in a restaurant in Te Anau and have been looking for an opportunity to make one myself. With a bag of jaffas sitting in my kitchen and my gentleman friend coming to stay it seemed the perfect excuse... but... there seems to be no recipe for a Kiwi Jaffa Tart on the internet.

Allow me to provide one, with credit to Mary Berry and Willie for the base and filling respectively.

I made two mini tarts, so double the recipe if you are making a big one.

Kiwi Jaffa Tart

Pastry:
85g flour
50g butter
1 tbsp icing sugar
Half an egg yolk
Half a tbsp cold water

Cut the cold butter into tiny cubes and rub through the flour (or use a food mixer if you have one). Rub through the icing sugar, then add the egg yolk and cold water. Use your hands to mix it into a nice consistent lump of dough and stick it in the fridge for half an hour.

Tip from Mary: Lay baking paper over your bench surface before the roll out phase - it's sooo much easier for clean up. Grease the tart tin's base and sprinkle with flour, then roll the dough out so that it exceeds the edges of the tin base by about an inch (or more if making one big one with higher sides).

Fold the sides in and delicately place it into the tin, then fold the sides back up and press them into the (greased) tin sides. There will be surplus hanging over the edge which Mary would leave, but as mine fell off the tin into the bottom of the oven and nearly set my kitchen on fire (leading to me burning my arm and the pastry in the panic...), I would actually recommend cutting the surplus edges off. Also check there isn't surplus flour on the bottom of the tin.

Cover with tin foil and weigh with baking beans (or actual little stones, or I used rice), and bake for 15 mins at 200C. Remove the foil and baking beans, then cook for a further 10 mins or so until it is dry.

Filling:
90g very dark chocolate (I used 85%)
25g butter
35g castor sugar
90ml maple syrup
1 and a half eggs (use the rest of the egg from the pastry for the half)

Chop the chocolate finely and melt with the butter over boiling water. Gently heat the syrup and sugar until the sugar dissolves. Whisk the eggs and then combine all three.

Great British Bake-Off tip: put the bases into the oven and then pour the filling in from a jug. It avoids spilling as you transfer from bench to oven.

Bake 10-15 minutes until it is firm.

The Kiwi Bit:
Crush a whole load of jaffas. This is not as easy as it sounds - I used a rolling pin and still found them to be ridiculously resiliant.

Sprinkle the crushed jaffas (or just halved, as the photo shows many of mine to have been) over the tart. I did it while it was still very hot so that the jaffas melted a tiny wee bit, helping them to adhere.

Once everything has cooled remove the tart from the tin, and voila:

Bel sent me a care package

2011-10-08T17:07:00.003+01:00

| by Lou | 5.07pm UK time |

Thanks Bel!

Recipe: Lemon gin & tonic cake

2011-10-07T04:11:00.002+01:00

| by Bel | 4.04pm NZ time |

UPDATE: Download the lemon gin & tonic cake recipe (1 page PDF 100KB via google docs) thoughtfully scanned by my colleague!

When life gives you lemons, make a G&T ... cake!!

To clarify, I have never actually made this cake, but I did eat a chunk of it for morning tea today:

It was delicious.

Here is an approximation of the recipe that I found on Google, which the lady in my office says is pretty much the same as the one she used:

Ingredients

Cake
200g Butter
1 1/2 cups Chelsea White Sugar
Zest of 2 Lemons
4 x Eggs
3 cups Flour
2 tsp Baking Powder
3/4 tsp Salt
1 cup Milk (at room temperature)

Topping
1/2 cup Chelsea Caster Sugar
Juice of 2 Lemons
6 Tbsp gin

Method

Cake
Preheat the oven to 160ºC (fan-bake). Prepare a 24cm loose-bottomed cake tin by lining the base with baking paper, brushing the sides with butter and dredging lightly with flour.

To make the cake, cream the butter, sugar and lemon zest until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time.Sift the flour, baking powder and salt together, and fold carefully into the egg mixture.

Add the milk and stir in gently. Pile the mixture into the prepared cake tin.
Bake for 50-60 minutes or until the cake shrinks from the sides of the tin. This can also be made in 6 small loaf tins which would be baked for about 25 minutes.

Topping
While the cake is cooking, prepare the topping and the decoration. To make the topping, stir the caster sugar, lemon juice and gin together.When the cake is removed from the oven, pour topping mixture over the hot cake. Using a brulee torch, gently scortch the top of the cake.

From the Chelsea Sugar website.

Just to be specific, here are the instructions I got from the chef in my office:
The one I made was 2 cakes and then you iced it with white choc butter icing
CRAFTY LADY!!

I was confused initially as that recipe only mentions booze in the topping, and I was sure that the cake itself as soaking in ginly goodness, but apparently the topping makes its way down through the body of the cake, infusing flavour throughout.

Giant eagles, you guys!!

2011-09-20T03:10:00.035+01:00

| by Bel | 2.13pm NZ time |

I've had this article open in a browser tab for the last week, so I can re-read it each day and be amazed.

Because I love shit like this:

The Scottish Gamekeepers Association has raised concerns about whether sea eagles could differentiate between children and their natural prey.

The Scottish government said it was not aware of any attacks by sea eagles on children in other countries and did not think a public inquiry was necessary.

A Scottish sea eagle has a wing span of up to 8 feet, you guys! It's bigger than me! That is so kick ass! I totally think that could attack a small child if it wanted!! And the eagles are endangered so NO COMPLAINING.

(And did I nominate the Very Reverend Hunter Farquharson, attacked by a giant eagle whilst trying to defend a goose, for Name of the Year? Yes, yes I did.)

How to write a letter.

2011-09-19T00:01:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 10.59am NZ time |

Know that you need to write the letter.
Someone will tell you that you need to.
Spend five years not writing the letter.
You think that you will write the letter.
Someone will tell you that you need to.
Think about actually writing the letter.
Congratulate yourself for these thoughts.
Spend a week not writing the letter.
Write an outline of the letter’s structure in your journal.
Spend another week not writing the letter.
Write ‘write the letter’ in your to-do list on today’s page of your journal.
Find a refill pad like you used to have at school.
Rip one sheet off and fold it down and down.
You now have the same number of folds as there are sections in your outline.
Write the title of each section at each fold.
Fill in the sections titled ‘Greeting’ and ‘Ending’.
Take your pants off so you are more comfortable.
Now all you need to do is write the letter.
Write the letter.
It will only take you half an hour. It feels like five years.
Write out a second copy which doesn’t have the folds and the titles.
Show it to someone.
Someone who knew you needed to write it but didn’t tell you to.
Tell them you don’t want to know what they think.
They will read it and say a job’s not worth doing if you can’t do it with your pants off.
Put your pants back on.
Put the letter in its envelope.
Send it.

Nail polish question:

2011-09-16T00:44:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 11.35am NZ time |

Is this colour ugly-in-a-cool-way or just ugly?

It is Butter London Fash Pack. They says it's "putty meets mushroom" and in the bottle it has a golden sheen which doesn't really translate on the nail.

I did a top coat of Sally Hansen Anti-Chip after it was recommended on Jezebel. I'm getting my beauty advice pretty much exclusively from Jane Marie of the Hairpin these days, so we'll see how that goes.

And if you know of a nail polish colour that is a solid pastel pale cappuccino tan, please let me know and put me out of my misery!

Update: Hair crisis and make-up boredom

2011-09-07T12:04:00.005+01:00

| by Lou | 12.04pm UK time |

In the aftermath of the hair crisis, KGB who I bought the voucher from have told me they will refund the money I paid. A strongly worded email to the hairdressing salon garnered an apology and an offer for free colour treatments (which I will not be taking up).

The colour is okay, but I don't particularly like it. It looks like a glowing beacon in daylight (though as London is plunged into typical overcast darkness that might not be a problem), and then looks okay in the evening time.

Excuse the terrible photo, but this best shows the luminous roots and also my all-important accessories (sparkly clutch from Bel, Diana F+ camera, glass of bubbly):

I reckon I'll leave it a couple of weeks to recover a little bit, then put a darker red through to try and tone it down a bit (though the roots coming through might do that anyway).

To liven up my extremely boring life of make-up I bought a blue colour palette and have gone back to liquid eye-liner (and found it's so much easier to use than on previous attempts).

I did feel a little bit more lively in the photos than my usual pale canvas, though that might have been the rosiness of high wine intake and a very successful matchmaking attempt by the bride:

Hair crisis: when ginger goes bad

2011-09-02T16:28:00.005+01:00

| by Lou | 5.10pm UK time |

This is a story all about how AM Beauty Salon in Knightsbridge ruined my lovely hair. If you've stumbled upon this post via googling them, take my advice: DO NOT GO THERE. I have aged 10 years in the last 24 hours dealing with the catastrophic result of their absolute incompetence.

Let me set the scene. This is me on Sunday - dyed red hair, with a bit of regrowth. (And new £5 sunglasses, which I love - aren't they hilarious? I found them in an emo teen shop in Edinburgh.)

I had wanted to get my hair refreshed for The Wedding Of The Year on Saturday, so jumped at this voucher offer from kgb deals:

£29 for a half head of highlights or a full head of colour plus a wash, cut and blow dry worth £235 at A.M Beauty Salon - save 88%

I went in and said "I'd like to dye it ginger". The hair-dresser expressed some reservations. I said I would be fine to keep it red if it wasn't going to work. He brought out colour samples and pointed at the vibrant ginger. I said that was what I was thinking, but that I would be okay with the darker ginger if it wasn't going to work in my hair. He said he was going to give it a go.

Here is where is starts to get a bit fishy. He made up the dye and applied it to my roots. Just my roots. And left it for at least 45 minutes. It might have been an hour. Then put it through the rest of my hair and left it for at least another 45 minutes. It might have been another hour. By the time it was washed out I had read 100 pages of my book and my scalp was starting to go numb.

They rinsed it out and sat me down in front of the mirror. My roots were a luminous peroxide-orange colour. The rest was a dark ginger. I was stunned. Mortified.

He seemed to say something about the lightness being brought down through my hair "next time". I didn't really know what this meant as surely if it was a two-stage process you would tell the client that at the beginning. I said he needed to make the roots darker. He said wouldn't I want to make the rest lighter to get the colour I wanted? I said I didn't care, whichever was easiest, I just needed to have one single coloured hair as I have a wedding on Saturday.

He took me back to the sink and spent approx 20-30 mins rubbing the hair dye in to the next section of hair. During this time I had rising panic that nearly led to tears. I can't go to the wedding looking like a clown! But I reassured myself that of course he would sort it out. He's an expert! He knows what he's doing!

He rinsed it out and took me back to the chair. And commenced with the cut (a bit of a trim really - I think it took all of 15 minutes). And then blow dried it.

The roots were still a luminous orange. The next section was just a little bit lighter to slightly mask the difference. He insisted that the salon lights were emphasising it, and that it really wouldn't be noticeable in all other lighting. And that next time the light colour would be pulled through the rest of the hair.

I was so convinced (or so wanting to convinced) that, having been there for 4 hours by this stage, I tipped him. £10.

This morning I woke up to this:

Not so bad, you're thinking.

But allow me to emphasise the difference in colours:

Disgusting.

How did this happen?

How does an "expert" do this?

How does a salon let a client leave looking like this?

And how could this possibly be worth £235?!

Suddenly everything he did became clearly inept in retrospect:

Putting the colour into the roots so much longer before the rest of the hair. What the fuck! I'm no hair expert (hence trusting him), but even I know that untreated hair (ie the roots) reacts more strongly to colour than treated hair. When I or a hair-dresser has ever dyed my hair in the past the roots are done, and very swiftly followed by the rest. No 45+ minute gap. WHAT THE FUCK.
Telling me that in the "next stage" the lighter ginger would be brought through the rest of my hair. What the fuck! I asked for ginger hair, not an inch of ginger hair. Who in their right mind thinks that someone asking for ginger hair is saying "I want an inch of ginger hair"? And why on earth act as though it needs more time for the colour to work in the rest of my hair when he himself was the one who put it on the roots for so much longer? WHAT THE FUCK.

He had become progressively quieter during the time I was there. I realise now that he was probably panicking. He had been scratching at my hair when the dye was in to see how it was working. He really scrubbed that dye through the second time round after I'd expressed discontent. He knew that it was awful.

In blind panic I got two boxes of my trusty usual hair dye, thinking that even if it dyed my roots a bright red they would at least be the same colour as the rest of my hair. I enlisted a friend to put it through and she says that the "expert" hadn't even evenly fucked my hair - some roots were lighter than others, some bits at the back had been missed.

Thank god for Schwarzkopf Live Colour XXL Red Passion. I shall go to the ball.

Shame that even after five (5!) conditioning treatments my hair still feels like straw, and my scalp is very irritated.

I have sent a Very Strongly Worded email to the salon with a photo, have requested my money back from kgb, and am never trusting a British hairdresser ever again.

Cheeky make-up: the why & wherefore of blusher

2011-09-02T00:31:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 11.30am NZ time |

An example of my varied style inspiration. Source

Blusher is a quick fix. It brightens you up literally and somehow figuratively too.

Even if you're in a super hurry, slathing on facial moisturiser and then a quick brush of blush will stave off comments such as, "You look tired, dear. Are you doing too much?". (I hate people who tell you you look tired, neglecting to follow it up with "Here is a voucher for a massage, I'll complete your tax return while you're gone".)

Sometimes after I've carefully applied non-wobbly eyeliner, coated my lashes in goop, and puckered up for lipstick, I wonder why I'm still looking wan after all that effort. A swish of blusher does the trick.

Powder blush in 'Sweetness' by MAC

Absurdly bright and lasting, this is my favourite. I've already blogged about how economical it is to use and the dollface look it brings.

I dab a little on the apples of my cheek and sweep it back a little for a retro pin-up girl look. It's easy to go overboard but I imagine that if you chose a more neutral shade, that would be less of a risk!

I have brushed this on in the morning and then rubbed it off at the end of the day after having sweated for an hour at the gym and everything. It's a real trooper!

Shisedo Colour Stick in 'Bronze' (cream blush)

A cream blusher is a bit quicker and easier to apply and less risky to carry around than a powder. I never would have chosen a shade called Bronze if it hadn't been recommended by the make-up counter lady, but this one really does work on those of us with darker eyes and hair.

I apply the stick directly to my face, making a dot on each cheek. Often I am tempted to stop right there and spend the day looking like an over-excited anime character:

But I resist that urge and instead use my fingertips to blend the colour high along my cheekbone.

I'm sure if I had a bit more skill, I could somehow use it for contouring highlights in that way the magazines all talk about, promising us that dramatic bone structure is just a trick of the light. But thus far it has just been used to create a healthy glow, bringing colour to my face which is sometimes without tinted moisturiser and always without foundation.

The Body Shop in 'Raspberry Pink' (cream blush)

This isn't on The Body Shop website and perhaps isn't available any longer. Probably a good thing, because it is more of a vanishing cream than anything else. On application, you get nice rosy cheeks, but within even an hour, there is not a trace of colour to be seen.

I would recommend instead The Body Shop 'Brush With Fashion' Cheek Tint. I don't own this, but have seen it in action on the lovely Steph's face as part of a demo of the limited edition release:

Grabbing the hot pink Tailored Cheek Tint (RRP $30.00), Derbhal explains to us, her eager pupils, that it changes colour by reacting to body temperature. She also recommends its versatility as a lip stain: “And better yet, it doesn’t budge, no matter what you eat.”

I squeeze a little from the tube – it comes out completely clear, but within a minute or less, I have a rosy daub of striking pink on the back of my hand. I think this was my favourite of the lot – a magical process and staying power.

I'm not sure if that range is still in store or not, but its definitely worth keep an eye out for!

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 29

2011-08-31T23:18:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 10.21am NZ time |

A film from your childhood

Home Alone came out in 1990. I was 8 years old. My dad took me out to the cinema to see it, which would have been a treat enough in itself. But we were also celebrating my new glasses:

Yep.

...is pretty much the right response.

Blue eyes

2011-08-23T14:20:00.009+01:00

| by Lou | 2.20pm UK time |

Every time I see photos of myself from a social function I think "gosh I'm boring" as I never really move beyond eye-liner as my one and only "look". With a wedding coming up and Bel selfishly living on the otherside of the world so unavailable to do my make-up for me I've been doing some googling and trying to come up with some variety. (I swear this has nothing to do with the bride seating me next to that single heterosexual guy she's been wanting to set me up with for yonks.)

The interweb is telling me that for blue eyes I should be wearing browns (reiterated by Bel once putting some copper on me to great effect, but I can't track down that specific shade and am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to imitate her application). However I personally always prefer my trusty black-and-silver (which I have jazzed up by applying over a base of light blue). But then I wonder if I'm just really boring and don't like trying new things?

So dear readers, I ask you for your opinion - browns or black-and-silver?

I'm pointing at the black-and-silver

Further information: I will be wearing a royal blue dress, and my hair will probably be a lighter auburn colour.

Because I am taking this very seriously, here is a closer up shot. Which begs the question that has haunted my life - why do my teeth look so yellow in photos? I swear they're not yellow in real-life. And I don't smoke, and certainly haven't had enough cups of tea in my life to warrant it. Hmph.

Also why does it look like I have very little eye shadow on
when to me while applying it is practically bucketed on?

(I also don't yet have any shoes to wear, but that's not as easily solved via the interweb.)

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 29

2011-08-23T11:33:00.006+01:00

| by Lou | 11.33am UK time |

A film from your childhood

My earliest film memories are:

The Goonies

imdb tells me that it would have been 1985/86. My family and I were on holiday with friends of mum and dad's who lived in a small Canterbury town called Geraldine. I thought they were funny as we all had the Southland rrrrrrr and they had a seeming inability to pronounce an r - therefore my brother Kirrrrrk became Kik.

During the holiday it was one of the Canterbury kids' birthdays and they made her a witch birthday cake from the Australian Woman's Weekly Birthday Cake Book, using those chip sticks you used to get as the broom bristles. The weather was really hot so we celebrated outside in a yard of brown fried grass.

Us kids were allowed to go to the cinema to see The Goonies. One of the Canterbury kids had to come late as she had a doctor's appointment due to having arthritis-like symptoms in her hands. The seven of us sat along the front row armed with popcorn and lollies and feeling like kings and queens of the world.

The film was awesome. I have always dreamed of finding a cave waterslide that leads into a hidden lagoon.

The Princess Bride

It would have been 1988. I had watched The Princess Bride on television and was so overwhelmed by its wonderousness that I promptly wrote all about it in my dinky diary. (It was a purple one that a friend had given me for my birthday.)

I wrote with breathless excitement about a film I had seen that was so great and I might never see it again so needed to get the plot down on paper lest I forget. At the time my brother and sister and I were big fans of wrestling, so Andre the Giant's role in the film just made it even better.

Years later I saw the film again and was absolutely delighted to recognise it as the film I had so loved when a child. Rewatching it as an adult I can't argue with the judgement of my 7-or-8-year-old self - it's a glorious film that captures adventure and romance in a way that nothing else has.

In praise of the Moon Cup

2011-08-22T14:50:00.006+01:00

| by Lou | 2.52pm UK time |

Join the revolution: the Moon Cup is awesome. Honestly. From first try you'll wonder how you ever thought it was okay to wad yourself with cotton.

I bought one 6 weeks ago on a whim, mostly motivated by environmental reasons and a dodgy tampon experience. (Dodgy in this case being the mildly disturbing incidence of the cotton not all staying in one piece. One tiny little loose tuft is quite wrong when it comes to internal useage.)

First impressions: it's smaller than I expected, and seeing it in person made it seem so much more logical than thinking about it in the abstract. After reading the instructions about a thousand times I waited for the time to come to try it feeling still rather skeptical.

First time round I found it quite difficult to get out (as in ten minutes of OH MY GOD IT'S NEVER COMING OUT - but hey, now I'm much better aquainted with my vagina!), but after a couple of goes (and a lot of googling) I've now found a technique that's quick and easy. It is extremely comfortable, in that I didn't feel it at all. And while obviously for the first two goes I didn't trust it to not leak, having now used it a few times I feel 99.9% secure.

I felt so secure that I took it on a beach holiday. This is the ultimate test. And five days in a bikini/ retro one-piece using solely the moon cup has me totally and utterly convinced that it is the best option.

(It's an especially great option if you're irrationally afraid of sharks like I am. As it actually creates a barrier there is much less chance of releasing that miniscule amount of blood that will send every shark within a thousand mile radius heading your way.)

Here are my reasons why you should give it a go:

Environmentally there is no question that a single reusable cup is a gazillion times better than constant disposal of wads of cotton.
Economically it is way cheaper, with the bonus that you'll no longer be supporting corporations to make dodgy products and market them patronisingly ("Have a happy period!" FUCK OFF!).

In terms of convenience, once the entry-and-exit technique is mastered it is an easy solution that cuts out that fricking irritating scenario of realising you don't have any tampons with you (and doesn't involve desperately looking around wondering where the fuck you're going to dispose of the used product because your old workplace only has open bins in the unisex toilets basically forcing you into the flush option which is soooooo bad for the poor waterways and sewage workers, but that's another story). However the only catch is that if you work somewhere that does not have a sink in the cubicle you'll need a bottle of water to give it a rinse. But having said that, I found that I could easily go 8 hours without having to empty it. And drinking lots of water is good for you anyway.

It just feels so much healthier. Honestly - I was sticking wads of cotton inside myself? Seriously?? And especially when you get to that end phase where it's sort of tailing off but not completely so you sort of still need to use a tampon but at the same time it feels wrong because there isn't quite enough there... Yeah, none of that.

It is thought that it reduces cramping, and based on my two months of useage I would agree. The theory is that it is allowing the body to shed the uterine lining in its natural way because it is falling down into the cup rather than immediately hitting a cotton barrier. I can't state it as a fact due to not having been using it longer, but usually for me at least one out of two times would involve horrific unbearable cramping and I have had none of that.

Lastly, it's actually kind of interesting and makes the whole experience of menstruation feel like a natural thing rather than some female defect that needs to be mopped up with branded cotton wads.

Colour me converted.

EDIT TO ADD: I forgot to mention that it requires some heavy duty thigh strength to do an empty out in aeroplane toilets. But it is possible.

101 things 1001 days: #75 Whale watching

2011-08-15T05:13:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 4.12pm NZ time |

A sperm whale, a humpback whale, a second, larger, sperm whale, and a pod of 200 or so dolphins. All hanging out in the Pacific Ocean just off Kaikoura in the South Island. Yes, this can most definitely be ticked off the list!

Completed on July 22nd, with 878 days left of my Day Zero Project!

My five favourite words.

2011-08-14T15:24:00.002+01:00

| by Lou | 3.25pm UK time |

cunt

serendipity

onesie

literally

superfluous

Pet peeve #12: Food courts

2011-08-11T22:15:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 9.19am NZ time |

You guys, how gross are food courts? Ugggh! So gross!

The main thing that gives me the heebiejeebies about food courts is that there is never any natural light.

It is always super harsh overhead fluro and you get the feeling that quite possibly it never changes, like those casinos where they want to deceive you against the passing of time.

I did a Google Image search for "food court" and look at the horror that hit mine eyes:

Ugggggh!

There is a generic aesthetic to food courts which makes them both abhorrent and comforting. You can rest assured that the formica table will be a little sticky, that the spindly aluminum legs of the chairs will scrape ear-piercingly across the tiled floor, that there will be confusion over where you should stack your tray and dump cutlery.

There used to be one great food court in Wellington. (Sorry, BNZ Food Court, your weird combination of cavernous and rabbit warreny, and the fact that you are underground and therefore INCAPABLE of natural light, means you will never be great at anything other than helping me get to Lambton Quay in the rain.)

It was next to the Rialto, when there was a Rialto cinema, down one street back from the waterfront. It had big double doors on either side which were always open and funny murals painted up high on the walls. There was very little use of neon signage. Of course it has now been lost to the perpetual reconstruction of our central city.

The Killing (Forbrydelsen) & the 5 Stages of Enthralled TV Watching

2011-08-11T04:43:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 3.30pm NZ time |

Have you seen The Killing (Forbrydelsen)? You need to. This blog is a spoiler-free taster to the mystery of who killed Nanna Birk Larsen...

Initial Bemusement
Why is it always raining? Why is it always nighttime? Does Sarah Lund only own one sweater? How does she manage to chew her nicotine gum in such an angry way? Is everyone in Denmark really this moody? Why is it always so dim in their police station? How come no one ever tries to turn on an overhead light at a crime scene and just uses their torchlight in a spooky way instead? Why do they all say 'Nanna Birk Larsen' in full every time? Nanna Birk Larsen. Nanna Birk Larsen. Nanna ... Birk Larsen.
Captivation
There are 20 episodes in this series, each an hour long. You'll have to at least take a toilet break at some stage. But you won't want to. You will be awash with disproportionate anger when someone asks to pause it so they can put the kettle on or answer the phone or staunch the bleeding from the gaping wound on their leg. You have no time for such petty distractions! Lund is silently gazing into mid-air, face expressionless and yet conveying the thousand thoughts rushing through her mind. What if she blinks and you miss it!!
Brain-melting plot-twisting over-thinking
Although this whole show is about one case, it is far from a simple story. It twists and turns and just as things become clear... it gets murky again. It's testament to the strong writing and impeccable acting performances that this is only frustrating in the sense that you're deeply involved in the solving of this case yourself and want a resolution to your own ruminations and theories. We want peace for Nanna's family, resolution for Lund - and a rest for our own frazzled minds!
SHOUTING!!
HE LOOKS SUSPICIOUS! SO SUSPICIOUS! OR POSSIBLY JUST GRIEFSTRICKEN
IT'S HIM! NO NO IT'S NOT! YES IT IS HIM! WAIT!
DON'T GO IN THERE IT'S DARK!
TURN ON A OVERHEAD LIGHT FOR PETE'S SAKE!
TROELS! GO GET YOUR BROTHER HE'LL SORT IT OUT!*
The moment you realise you are actually on the edge of your seat.
Like, physically, literally, actually uncomfortably perched on the edge of the couch where previously you were comfortably ensconced with multiple couch cushions, lurching forwards towards the screen and possibly even holding your breath as the music builds to a cresendo and then suddenly the closing credits for the episode appear.

Lou, you will love this because I know what a nerd you are for crime thrillers. Sonal, you will love this because the character development and pacing will make you swoon. Lotte, you will love this for the reason explained below at the asterisk.

*The role of Troels is played by Lars Mikkelsen. I hadn't noticed his name in the credits but watching I was like "Holy crapballs that guy looks like Cheekbones!" AKA Mads Mikkelsen AKA pretty much my favourite actor. And guess what, you guys, guess what. It's his BROTHER. I know!!

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 28

2011-08-08T01:28:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 12.30pm NZ time |

Favourite film from your favourite director

Mainly because it is going to incur the wrath of Lou, I'm going to say Dazed and Confused by Richard Linklater.

I think we can all agree, if nothing else, that it is one of Ben Affleck's greatest roles?

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 28

2011-08-05T20:13:00.004+01:00

| by Lou | 8.30pm UK time |

Favourite film from your favourite director

Pulp Fiction, all the way.

Three fun facts about Pulp Fiction related to my Invercargill teenagerhood:

1. A school friend was given a VHS copy for her 14th birthday by our school's priest*. We started to watch it, but one of the girls there was the principal's daughter and her parents had come along. They conferred with the birthday girl's more liberal-minded parents in the kitchen, and before we'd gotten more than 2 minutes in they turned it off and forbade us from watching it. This of course made us even more desparate to see it.

2. My 5th form economics teacher was fresh out of uni and would willingly engage in a bit of a 'youth' chat**. One day he came over to help me and my friend, and somehow ending up telling us about how Morgan Freeman's character asks the robber to get his wallet out of the bag and the guy says "which one is yours?" and he says "the one that says bad mother fucker" and the guy pulls out his wallet and sure enough it said bad mother fucker. He thought that was the best thing ever. It probably actually is.

3. My mother decided that she was going to watch Pulp Fiction when it premiered on television, because people from her work liked it. I told her she was going to hate it***. She insisted on watching it nonetheless, but within 5 minutes had turned it off. I was watching it in the other room and so when they got to the adrenalin countdown evilly shouted out for her to change the channel, leading to her flicking over at this exact moment and being utterly mortified:

*Yes, he was a young and kind of weird priest. Later on the same school friend's mother stalked him and it's actually a really tragic story of psychiatric illness.

**Yes, this did go badly. Several of the girls in my class were precocious enough to entirely put him on edge by bringing him close to the line of inappropriate behaviour. I felt quite sorry for him.

***My mother doesn't swear. I once heard her say shit and was absolutely shocked. Luckily my siblings and I inherited our vocab from dad.

Sweets that I like and hate.

2011-08-04T12:29:00.004+01:00

| by Lou | 12.30pm UK time |

My all-time favourite sweets are M&Ms.

(This prompted a conversation with a colleague regarding the fact that "sweets" are the British term for what Kiwis would call "lollies", but we wouldn't classify M&Ms as lollies even though they fit within sweets (Right? We'd call them chocolates?). So I have decided to betray my country and use the term sweets. (This led to discovering that the British use the term "lollies" to describe what we would call "lollipops". (Which then led to the question "So you have lollies, lollipops, and ice-lollies?" at which point I had to introduce the term "ice-blocks". (Do not fear, I will stick with lollipop and ice-block.))))

I like jaffas.

(This confuses me - Kiwis would consider a jaffa a lolly right? So why wouldn't we consider an M&M a lolly? Effectively they're the same thing, just with a slightly different flavour and shape.)

I like pineapple lumps.

(I actually didn't use to particularly like pineapple lumps when living in New Zealand, but mum has so studiously sent me a packet twice a year that I have grown to enjoy them immensely.)

I like jelly babies.

(These grew on me from London Marathon days where it goes something like "hand out a few to runners, eat a few, hand out a few to runners, eat a few" etc.)

I like mints.

(All kinds and types of mints. Any mint whatsoever makes me happy.)

I hate liquorice all-sorts.

(I hate any and all liquorice products.)

I hate pick'n'mix.

(Seriously - what is the point of buying a bag of sweets if you don't have any particular regard for most of the contents?)

I like and hate revels.

(I like the malteasers, peanuts and buttons, and hate the orange, coffee and raisans. (My perfect Revels partner is Sheree, who hates the malteasers. (Unfortunately she lacked the ability to tell which was which by feel, so I'd be happily chomping away while she had every second dip result in a "D'oh!".)))

Lollies that I like and hate:

2011-08-03T23:54:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 10.42am NZ time |

I like Eclair sweets.

I like Clinkers. (And I guess the colour each time before I bite in.)

I like jersey caramels, but the quality of these has dropped DRAMATICALLY since childhood years.

I hate with the fury of a thousand suns Fruit Bursts.

I hate Tangy Apples.

I hate Tangy Fruits, except for the sound their packaging adds to the small town cinema experience.

I hate Oddfellows.

But please keep in mind that above all, I do not have a sweet tooth and would choose a bag of chips over all lollies, block of chocolate or ice-cream any day of the week.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 27

2011-07-25T20:57:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 7.41am NZ time |

A film that you wish you had seen in theaters

I am fortunate that I have seen a lot of the films I love in the cinema - and many classics which deserve the big screen treatment. With all the developments in 'home theatre' recently, you still can't convince me that there isn't something magical about that shared experience of sitting in a dim room together.

By example, I have seen A Streetcar Named Desire twice at the cinema! First time was in France, when I was a teenager. We went as a school trip for my English class and it was subtitled.

Other than the film itself, there are two things I remember clearly: 1) our teacher bumming a smoke off a student afterwards, when there was a mass exodus to quickly go and light up on the footpath, and 2) having to try and explain to my classmates that Blanche is raped by Stanley off screen.

More recently, the glorious Embassy cinema here in Wellington screened a lovely looking 35mm print. I went on my own, sitting in the cushy premium seating and loved every minute of it!

Ok, but what is a film I wish I had seen in the cinema? It's Star Trek, a film I mentioned way back at the start of this '30 days'.

And my main reason is because I chose to see that godawful Terminator Salvation instead. Gahhhhh.

To think that the torment of sitting through that P.O.S. movie could have instead been the gleeful experience of seeing Star Trek for the first time! Woe!

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 27

2011-07-25T13:31:00.004+01:00

| by Lou | 1.30pm UK time |

A film that you wish you had seen in theatres

God bless both the New Zealand International Film Festival and the British Film Institute for allowing me to see so many films on the big screen that I had missed first time round (mostly due to Not Being Alive Yet). The Marlon Brando BFI season was particularly glorious in giving me the bonus of allowing my virgin screening of Apocalypse Now to be done right.

One film I have never seen on the big screen that I would love to have seen in its full glory is:

The Piano

Mostly because it is The Most Beautiful Film Ever, but also because it would be giving the price of a cinema ticket towards an unbelievably talented filmmaker of both my gender and nationality.

Alas at the time I was 12 years old and my mother deemed it "inappropriate". When I finally saw it a couple of years later I said "Oh. Right." and decided to remove the quotation marks from inappropriate.

NB: I can't accompany this with an image as I can't find a photo of her sinking into the mud with her skirt billowing around her, and nothing less will do.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 26

2011-07-25T05:43:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 4.45pm NZ time |

A film that you love but everyone else hates

I actually liked Catherine Breillat's Romance. Most people in the cinema were disgusted or embarrassed or offended - and I'm not saying I wasn't! - just that I liked it too!

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 26

2011-07-22T09:00:00.002+01:00

| by Lou | 9.00am UK time |

A film that you love but everyone else hates

One might think that I could put The Notebook as my answer here. However one would be entirely wrong as many women of intelligence and fine taste love that film. Just none of them seem to read this blog. But one day... one day you'll see it again, and it will win you over. Oh yes, it will win you over!

So, to a film that actally everyone except me hates:

Signs

I should hate this film. I should hate the Mel Gibsonness, the overt preaching, and the laborious denouement. But I just can't.

It's because I saw it back in the era when Joaquin was my one-and-only, and he's so adorably average-guy in this that I found him and it irresistable, and felt myself viewing the film with all sorts of good-will and suspended judgement.

But I promise I'm much harsher on Mel Gibsonness, preaching, and bollocksly convenient plots in any and all other contexts.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 25

2011-07-20T23:31:00.006+01:00

| by Bel | 11.11am NZ time |

The most hilarious film you’ve ever seen

Dang it, Lou's already nabbed Wayne's World hasn't she??

Ok, well, here is a clip from a TV show that always makes me laugh. It's I Love Lucy! I really do love Lucy!

(I actually remember watching this on TV (repeats after school on TV1) because Mum explained to me that Lucy had red hair and that's why the crysthanamum joke is so funny!)

Strangeness in a strange land.

2011-07-20T21:54:00.013+01:00

| by Bel | 2.14pm NZ time |

Hotel room in Auckland. The sign was on some kind of enormous free-standing air conditioning unit hogging up a corner of the room. I was too scared to look at it, let alone do anything with the air intake.

Conference venue in Auckland.

Business card of taxi driver in Auckland.

(It says "Historian, Writer, Gourmet, Cook, Wine Connoisseur, Raconteur and Experienced Traveler at You Service". It does not mention that he is a taxi driver.)

And this, from Ashburton in Canterbury. We saw this woman drive in and "park" her car and I nearly fell over on the footpath laughing.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 24

2011-07-19T23:30:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 10.33am NZ time |

That one awesome film idea that still hasn’t been done yet

Is there a film version of Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?? I vote for that.

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 25

2011-07-18T09:00:00.001+01:00

| by Lou | 9.00am UK time |

The most hilarious film you’ve ever seen

Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party time! Excellent! Woo-woo-woo-woo-woooooo!

A sphincter says what?

Game off! Game on!

Hi Wayne! Hi!

Hi, we're in... Delaware.

It's sucking my will to live!!

Wait a minute!... No... Wait a minute!... No...

Oops, I dropped my pen.

Cream of some-young-guy.

If you're gonna spew, spew into this.

You could really hock a loogie from this height!

Excuse me, I'd like to get by now.

Did you ever find bugs bunny attractive when he put on a dress and lipstick and acted like a girl bunny?

Foxy!

Am I supposed to be a man? Am I supposed to say "it's alright, I don't mind, I don't mind" ? Well I mind! I mind big time! And you know what the worst part of all is... I never learned to read!

Okay, sorry, I'll stop now.

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 24

2011-07-17T16:26:00.006+01:00

| by Lou | 4.26pm UK time |

That one awesome film idea that still hasn’t been done yet

There is a comic book hero dying to light up the screens.

He is:

Historical Accuracy Man!

He pins this to his pale clammy chest:

and fights the fight against factually incorrect information!

Whenever somebody claims that the Maori ate a distinct race of people called Moriori, he will be there!

Whenever people discuss the kilt-wearing William Wallace-led fighters of the Scottish Highlands, he will be there!

Whenever Americans commemorate the thanksgiving feast of their forefathers, he will be there!

Please note I have a paper-trail for this billion-dollar idea going back to the year 2000 so don't even think about trying to steal it!

101 things 1001 days: #29 Get heart/pen tattoo

2011-07-17T00:14:00.029+01:00

| by Bel | 11.19am NZ time |

This, my fourth tattoo, was done by Capilli at Sacred Tattoo in Auckland:

My attempt at taking a photo of my own back, which doesn't show the new tattoo at all:

A slightly more helpful photo, also showing part of my swallows and banner tattoo done by Jane at Chapel Tattoo in Melbourne:

Here is the design in its original incarnation:

It is based on a traditional Mexican fortune telling card, and the Bic biro.

Completed on July 2nd, with 898 days left of my Day Zero Project!

Rainbow shatter

2011-07-16T16:39:00.002+01:00

| by Lou | 4.40pm UK time |

What else is there to do on a cold rainy summer's day than get out all your nail polishes and create a rainbow shatter?

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 23

2011-07-16T01:00:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 12.09pm NZ time |

Favourite animation

I once told someone that Aladdin was my favourite Disney film and he said that it was like saying Vietnam was my favourite war.

No, no it is not.

101 things 1001 days: #2 Renew my Learners licence

2011-07-14T22:53:00.016+01:00

| by Bel | 9.53am NZ time |

My (yes, Learners) driving licence expired last year, and with my passport coming up for renewal too, I was in the awkward position of having no current ID whatsoever. Whoops.

I was fretting pretty hard on the assumption that because it had expired, I would have to resit the practical test. Ok, sure, it's just a paper exam thing but my anxieties around driving are so freaking out of proportion these days that even that seemed a terrifying task.

FORTUNATELY I was alerted to the detail that two years have to lapse before they make you resit anything. I was in the safe zone just to do a reapplication. Yay!

(Truth be told, even that got my hands all sweaty as I stood in line. FEARS!!)

Completed last week, with 908 days left of my Day Zero Project!

I sent this text message last night whilst under the influence of alcohomol.

2011-07-14T17:40:00.003+01:00

| by Lou | 5.40pm UK time |

"Whoa I got on train & the guy next to me was spoken to by his friends in several diff languages & I don't think any of them were English as no-one seemed to say 'haha you're wearing pink trousers' (he was) & overall I felt like between us we were more Germanly gay than them & maybe they were french. Yuck."

101 things 1001 days: #12 Journal every day for a month

2011-07-13T21:53:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 8.49am NZ time |

Bought myself a 365 diary and cranked through the first month - writing about each day, if not on the day itself!

My avid journalling has dropped off in recent years, so it feels good to get back into the routine of writing something each day. Perhaps creative inspiration may even be a result, as well as the thrilling record of what I've eaten for lunch and who I was momentarily furiously angry with.

Completed last month, with 916 days left of my Day Zero Project!

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 22

2011-07-13T05:47:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 4.10pm NZ time |

Favourite documentary

Hmm, too tricky.
How about 'most recently viewed documentary'?

Restrepo was filmed over the course of a year in Afghanistan by embedded journalists, Tim Hetherington and Sebastian Junger. It was nominated for an Oscar and, sadly, gained more attention when Hetherington was killed in Libya earlier this year.

The combination of gut-wrenching hand-held footage from the war zone and follow up interviews with the harrowed soldiers filmed in extreme close up makes for a very powerful film.

The futility and absurdity of America's war on terror is hammered home by seeing the devastating personal impacts (and deaths) felt by not just the soldiers, but also the locals of the Korengal Valley.

This documentary is brilliantly made, but I would warn it is a gruelling watch. (I bawled.)

The time that I actually replied to a so-called "news" item.

2011-07-12T12:58:00.004+01:00

| by Lou | 1.00pm UK time |

I saw this "NZ women promiscuous - doctor" item on NZ Herald in the weekend, which goes along the lines of:

"Oh hai guys, this gynaecologist in Timaru who has a conservative right-wing Christian woman-hating agenda basically thinks that Kiwi women are sluts who have slept with everyone in the world and don't know who their baby-daddies are. He has some ridiculous and patently untrue so-called statistics that I am going to quote verbatim and not bother doing any further research on. And I'm certainly not going to offer any other opinions as that would lessen the impact of this story that is designed to get myself some internet hits by further contributing to the sexual judgement placed on women by society."

(Oh and guess what - 63% of people think NZ women are too promiscuous! And guess what else! 63% of people should mind their own fucking business!)

And I reacted something like this:

And having already been boycotting stuff.co.nz for over a year now didn't want to lose my other main source of NZ current affairs by adding NZ Herald to the list, even though they've had an increasing number of entirely redundant and agenda-pushing so-called "news" items of late. So I clicked the "email the writer" link and fired off this:

Even by the appalling low standards of journalism plaguing New Zealand, your article quoting a misogynist gynaecologist with an inflated sense of importance is utterly abhorrent.

You've given an entire article to a doctor who talks of personally having women tell him they don't know who they slept with to become pregnant, and that this occurs "thousands and thousands" of times - without having researched any actual statistics or given any space to alternative points of view (or seemingly even bothering to question him about his baseless extrapolation).

Would it not have made sense to question him on the role men are playing in this? To have looked at trends over time? To have question him on his obvious judgementalism in relation to medical ethics?

Your article is proof that there is still plenty of stigmatism going on in New Zealand towards sexually active women. And provides proof that you probably, like the doctor, hate women.

The only sensible course of action this article prompts is for all Timaru women to boycott this doctor - who wants to show their vagina to a medical so-called professional who is more concerned about moral judgements than medical health?

And he replied with this:

Dear Lou,

Thanks for your feedback. I certainly did question him on how often he saw women who couldn't remember who they had slept with the night before and his response about "thousands and thousands" was his reply. I am a reporter of this story, but it is not the last word on the issue - more stories have been written since and will be written in the future. You may like to send a letter to the editor to: letters@nzherald.co.nz

With best wishes,
Simon

And then this "Sex poll only half the story" appeared on NZ Herald and I realised with joy that I wasn't the only one to fire off a FUCK YOU and I think (hope) they may have learnt a lesson.

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 23

2011-07-05T20:14:00.005+01:00

| by Lou | 8.33pm UK time |

Favourite animation

I'm not much of an animated film junkie, particularly not when it comes to Disney... but (as an adult) the animated film that has most whelmed me is pre-Disney-takeover Pixar's good ol' Finding Nemo.

This might be something to do with (okay, a lot to do with) my love of Ellen Degeneres.

Review: Simple 'Satire' shoes from Nature Shop

2011-07-04T00:08:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 11.04am NZ time |

Check it out - comfy casual shoes which have been created ethically and sustainably. Simple shoes are stylishly made from natural and recycled products and you can have them delivered to your door thanks to Natureshop.

It was my dear friend Melissa who tipped me off about Natureshop and it's her here modelling the shoes, which they sent me to blog about.

Mel's a big fan of the online store and each year buys a pair of snuggly warm sheepskin boots to wear in the winter months. This New Zealand company has sourced their stock from brands which have a commitment to environmentally sustainability, ranging from Icebreaker clothing to Green Baby organic skincare.

As a vegetarian, I always feel in a dilemma about buying shoes. Wearing leather made from animal skin feels like such hypocrisy! But have you ever walked into a #1 Shoe Warehouse and been overwhelmed by the stink of plasticky evil? Uggggh.

Many synthetic shoes which could be considered vegan and therefore animal-friendly, have been created from an unholy mess of fossil fuels in sweatshop conditions. And you and I both know that as a general rule, cheap shoes fall apart very quickly.

Rather than regularly spending money on new shoes, I'm choosing to buy better quality products which I aim to eventually get repaired and restored (like the Skechers mary-jane shoes I blogged about last month). My winter boots have been resoled twice and are still going strong! The culture of 'fast fashion' where we snap up cheap versions of latest trends is dangerous to our environment - it's estimated that in the UK shoppers are each sending 30kg of clothing and textiles to the landfill each year.

A brand like Simple takes the angst out of the equation. They call themselves "your stereotypical, anti-stereotype brand" and their business has been run sustainably for over 20 years. Simple are inspirational to those us trying to dress green when doing so can often seem like just another fashion trend.

This environmental focus is held by Natureshop too. Their environmental policy shows a commercial attitude which goes beyond just making the big buck.

Natureshop is carboNZero certified, purchasing carbon credits to offset the footprint created by posting things around the world. The items they post out are packaged in 100% biodegradable materials. I know Lou and I have both raged before about the ludicrous wrappings that go into many modern products! This kind of change is such a basic thing, yet has so many benefits.

The shoes photographed here oh-so-artily are Simple's 'Satire' style in a women's size 10 US / Euro 41. I'm guessing that the satire comes from their fastenings, which look like tidy shoelaces but are actually just a front for elasticised slip-ons. How sneaky! And convenient.

The lining is very sweetly floral with the practical dusky blue exterior colour balanced by the cute strip of pink running round the trim. The sole of the shoe is black, made from recycled car tires.

I found them too small for my feet, but there were a perfect fit on Melissa. An open lace style might've been okay, I just found I couldn't squeeze my foot properly in the opening. (Sigh.) I'd suggest going a size up if you're unsure - and Natureshop makes returning items very easy with free shipping and a 365 day returns policy.

Melissa told me that she's worn these Simple shoes all weekend from breakfast til bed and that the "comfort is unsurpassed"!

Comforting as well to know that the shoes are good for our world as well as good looking.

Film review: Bridesmaids (summary: Go see it. Now.)

2011-06-30T13:23:00.005+01:00

by Lou 1.30pm UK time

Have you seen Bridesmaids yet? No? Why not? GO. GO NOW. Grab your friends and lovers - male and female - and go.

You see, this is a film about women. About relationships between women. And it's funny - OH SO FUNNY, MY GOD - and oh hai it's not really about weddings actually (thanks Hollywood - did it go something like this: "No, we're not interested. Women aren't interesting or funny." "We'll make the title something about weddings?" "Deal" ? Or was it more of a direct: "Oooh this is too funny! People might realise that women are funny - let's call it Bridesmaids and then at least no dudes will find out" ?).

Lots has been said about whether it's feminist, anti-feminist, post-feminist... but really the key points are:

It was written by women.

For women.

About women.

In which women do the things women do in real-life but never on cinema screens.

And it was made in Hollywood.

And it's fucking hilarious.

And people love it.

And lots and lots of men are going to go see it despite the best marketing efforts to alienate them.

Oh, and Don Draper is in it.

And did I mention that one scene in particular is probably the funniest thing you'll ever see in a movie theatre?

Kristen Wiig, you are now a God.

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 22

2011-06-27T21:14:00.005+01:00

| by Lou | 9.15pm UK time |

Favourite documentary

Shit man, I really don't know! So many documentaries BLOW MY MIND, but so few are repeat-viewers in that put-it-on-on-a-rainy-Friday-night kind of way that it's hard to think of them in terms of favourite.

Here are three that randomly come to mind as having both BLOWN MY MIND and been greatly enjoyed by me over the past few years:

Trouble the Water

This film in and of itself entirely demonstrates the importance of the democratisation of film-making via the availability of digital film cameras. No news bulletins, feature articles, photo essays, not even our beloved Zeitoun, can so ably communicate how FUCKED UP the whole Hurrican Katrina thing was as this film does.

The footage from within the storm is horrific, but not as horrific as the disgusting way that the citizens of New Orleans were treated by those supposedly sent in to help.

Capturing the Friedmans

A documentary about a clown turns into a documentary about a fuuuucked up family. Weaving in home movie footage shot by the clown, the filmmaker captures with awkward intimacy the descent of middle American family life into something much more sinister when the father and a brother are convicted of sex crimes against children.

I saw this in the 2004 film fest, and while there are now a plethora of films that - again - utilise the digital era to tell intimate family stories, this one seemed so fresh.

Grizzly Man

You know I couldn't get through a documentary list without mention our favourite German. When this film came out I had Bel and another of our colleagues and then a guy at a party tell me in depth about what happens in this, but it still BLEW MY MIND.

Truly, truly bizarre. I had to stop halfway through and google it as I really genuinely thought that it must be taking the piss. In fact, I'm going to go google it again now just in case the passage of time has revealed it to be a hoax. (As if Werner would lie to us!) An incredible example of you're-fucking-shitting-me-this-can't-be-real documentary-making.

Pet Peeve #11

2011-06-27T20:35:00.002+01:00

| by Lou | 8.35pm UK time |

Do you know what really gets on my goat? Filling in an online form for which there is a Country dropdown, and not being able to find the country in which I live.

I don't know about you, but when confronted with listing the country in which I live, I would go straight for United Kingdom.

If United Kingdom isn't there I look for Great Britain.

If Great Britain isn't there I look for Britain.

If Britain isn't there I look for England.

If England isn't there I get really angry and shout "fuck's sake!" and scroll through the list in minute detail, finally finding UK at which point I say "who the fuck wrote this list?!" and click on it and submit the form while muttering "seriously, what the fuck?"

New shoes: Skechers Best Girl Posh mary-jane wedges

2011-06-23T04:48:00.001+01:00

| by Bel | 3.34pm NZ time |

Six hundred million years have passed and I have finally paid off my layby! Whoo! New shoes!

They're the Skechers "Best Girl Posh" mary-jane wedges in black, to be exact. "Best Girl Posh" - that's the official name! I feel like the best posh girl wearing them!

Here is a standard useful photo of the shoe:

And here are some artsy 'lifestyle blog' type photos:

And more! (Oooooh mirrors)

I love mary-jane style shoes and always have. These also have some detailing which makes them on trend with the current brogue fashion. Wedge heels are known far and wide as the most sensible way to get some height - and these are super comfortable as well! My toes wriggle happily and there is nary a blister to be seen.

I got these in what is apparently a Eur 41 / UK 8 / US 11 and they are a great fit. Yay for Skechers! Forgive them for their lack of a "t" in their name and those dumb work-out shoes!

BLACK SHATTER NAIL POLISH YOU GUYS!

2011-06-23T00:21:00.005+01:00

| by Lou | 12.20am UK time |

It has been busting my balls (ovaries?) to keep from you all that I got my hands on some O.P.I. Black Shatter. Two bottles, in fact. One secretly went to Bel for her birthday, and one immediately went on my nails. Now that she has received hers (though her birthday isn't till next week, if you're panicking), I can share my piccies.

The first time I layered it over orange, but the orange wasn't fully dry. It was dry enough to pass in terms of things like washing your hands and getting your oyster card out of your pocket, but not dry in terms of their idea that your nails should be "fully bone dry".

The finish was average - it cracked more at the bottom so it was like having a patch of orange across the bottom of my nails, with shatter above. And I made the stupid mistake of reapplying it onto one toenail after accidentally only putting a thin layer on (I ended up with an almost fully black nail).

First tip: Evenly apply on first go. There is no second chance.

Second time I put it over yellow, with the difference that I had put the orange on the previous day so it was completely dry when I put over the black shatter. The result of this was that it shattered much more evenly (paying attention to the above principle of once-only even application), and strangely shattered better on my right hand, ie where I had used my non-dominant left hand to apply. (I will experiment next time, but I believe this would be to do with having a thicker brush on my non-dominant hand.)

Second tip: My god, this stuff chipped immediately. Way quicker than even normal nail polish. Right now I am typing on day 4 with half my index finger nails and one of my thumbs bare. Contrast this with the previous week's staying power and I would say: apply about an hour after the colour. It seems like doing when it's not completely utterly dry causes them to fuse to the nail.

Next attempt: over sparkle!

Recipe: Cannellini white bean dip

2011-06-22T03:08:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 2.08pm NZ time |

Something unprecedented happened yesterday. I was asked for my recipe. Yes! A person wanted to replicate a food item which I had created.

*waits for murmuring hubbub to die down*

I know, folks, I was as shocked as you. And immeasurably pleased. I wish I could have told my coworker that it was a family secret passed down through the ages, or a special something I'd craftily whipped up, but in actual fact I'd just googled the thing we had two cans left of in the cupboard.

And VOILA! Taste sensation.

It's a cannellini (white bean) dip with Italian parsley. If you have ever made dips yourself, then you'll know that it's friggin easy but please don't go round telling everyone because I need to be able to impress people with SOMETHING.

I had two cans of cannellini in the cupboard because a) they are pretty cheap and b) I can use them to make salady type things that no one else in my family touch and therefore I get it ALL TO MYSELF.

I googled 'cannellini' and discovered they are also known as 'white beans' which has to be one of the most literal and unimaginative names ever. Some recipes called for roasting a capsicum (AS IF!!) or steaming spinach (WHATEVS!!). Then I struck one which merely requiring chopping up some Italian parsley, which grows plentifully in our unattended garden.

You can find the original recipe on the Food Network website, where it was devised by someone called Giada De Laurentiis. Apparently she is a famous TV chef.

Or maybe an axe murderer? Or a witch who gains strength from bathing in blood?? That certainly doesn't look like hygienic kitchen practice to me.

Her recipe is quite specific but my technique is looser:

Ingredients

1x can of cannellini beans (for 2x ramekins of dip, or 2x cans for a big bowl)
a couple cloves of garlic
salt and pepper
a bunch of Italian parsley
olive oil

Method

Chop the parsley and the garlic.
Put everything in a bowl.
Add some oil so that it is easy to stir*.
Then whizz stick** the crap outta it.
THE END.

Here's my final version, as part of the spread my team made for the social club shared lunch celebrating winter solstice:

*I saw that many of the 287 comments on Giada's recipe were people irate about the excessive quantity of olive oil she'd recommended. This is why I never bother too much with following directions exactly. Also: I am lazy.

**This was the most time consuming part of a very short and quick process. Friggin whizz stick getting gummied up every two seconds!! Guess who bought a food processor off Trade Me the very next day. (Answer: me.)

Ravioli del Lou

2011-06-21T22:31:00.004+01:00

| by Lou | 10.30pm UK time |

Us busy Executives (did I mention that I'm an Executive now?) who have an emphasis on healthy eating (to keep us up with our Executive lifestyles) need an arsenal of quick and easy meals (because we work long Executive days), that can also be fun for burning off the Executive stress (did I mention that? The Executive bit? I'm an Executive), and that can be made from whatever-the-fuck is lying around (because being Executives we don't get to the supermarket much).

Tonight on a whim I decided to make ravioli from scratch. (Okay, it wasn't on a whim - it was after watching a cooking show for professional purposes at around 5pm, but I didn't want to mention that as I thought I might have over-killed on the Executive mentions (did I? I wasn't sure if I got the point across? That I'm an Executive now?) so certainly didn't want to bring up that I'm an Programming and Acquisitions Executive in case it just tipped it a little bit over the edge.)

Making ravioli from scratch is theoretically quite simple: bung an egg into a cup of flour with a dash of oil and maybe some salt and perhaps some herbs, mix them into a dough, refridgerate while you go for a run, then roll it out, place a spoonful of filling on, flip the top over, cut and press, boil, eat.

However, when you don't own a rolling pin or any other sort of helpful kitchen equipment it sort of turns into a bit of a drama. But! I used a roll of glad-wrap as a rolling pin! And bunged in some nearly-dying mushrooms mixed with almost-out-of-date cream cheese! And cut them out with a knife! And squeezed them together with my fingers! And it turned out a-okay!

Who cares that they looked just awful?

This is the cooked leftovers - they looked so shite pre-cooking I didn't think they'd be
edible let alone bloggable. You can see evidence of the basil used to make a sauce
(with tomatoes, mushrooms and courgette).

Moral of the story: fun! And yummy! And used up shit that's been in my fridge too long!

PS EXECUTIVE

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 21

2011-06-17T22:30:00.008+01:00

| by Lou | 10.30pm UK time |

Favourite Action Film

Can I count The Departed as an action film? No? Darnit. Can I mention it anyway? I really love The Departed. I'm watching it right now.

Leo is brilliant in this film, and I will fight anyone who says otherwise

Okay so an actual action film - Point Break. I love it.

"I am an F B I Agent!"
"Yeah, I know man, ain't it wild?"

Bonus! It's directed by a woman! And not just any woman! Kathryn Bigelow! The first woman to punch her hand through Hollywood's enduring glass ceiling and win the Best Director Oscar!

This is an entirely awesome proposition

Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze (oh Patrick) and Gary Busey are all perfectly bad-but-soooo-good.

"I caught my first tube today... Sir"

Bonus #2! An hilarious cameo from one of my fave rockers, Anthony Kiedis

"That would be a waste of time"

The set pieces are stunning executed and used with (the action genre's version of) restraint.

"You gonna jump or jerk off?"

Bonus #3! The line.

"I'm not going to paddle to New Zealand"

Bliss.

Book reviews: Game Change, Hedy Lamarr, Norah Vincent, Vendela Vida, Nina Simone, Joan Didion. Whew!

2011-06-16T21:15:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 7.58am NZ time |

A pile of books I plowed through earlier this year. It was a sad ratio of 50/50 duds to great reads.

Clockwise from top left:

Game Change creative non-fiction by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin
Beautiful: The Life of Hedy Lamarr biography by Stephen Michael Shearer
Voluntary Madness memoir by Norah Vincent
The Year of Magical Thinking memoir by Joan Didion
Princess Noire: The Tumultuous Reign of Nina Simone biography by Nadine Cohodas
And Now You Can Go autobiographical novel by Vendela Vida

Game Change creative non-fiction by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin

This a great book - I was recommending it to anyone I came across as I (avidly) read it. I've used the term "creative non-fiction" as it is a reconstruction of the US presidential election of 2008, with the narrative brought to live by quotes from over 200 interviews.

In any other circumstance, I'd be worried about the legitimacy of this kind of writing, but as the authors as renowned political journalists and editors at Time and New York magazine. Their reputations give this a ring of authority - that and the fact that the brutal characterisations of the political players rings so true.

BONUS: I hunted this down after seeing an interview where Joan Rivers said she'd read it.

DOUBLE BONUS: It's now being made into a TV movie.

Beautiful: The Life of Hedy Lamarr biography by Stephen Michael Shearer

A Golden Age film star, Hedy Lamarr died in obscurity and may well have been long forgotten if her scientific prowess had not been revealed. The amateur research done by her and her friend, composer George Antheil, during World War II has now been announced as the underpinning of modern mobile phone technology - as well as a contribution to the war effort in advancing missile development.

There is so much to Lamarr's story which is intriguing (the scandal of her early days as an actress in Austria, her disguised escape from her first marriage, the five husbands that followed, her connections with other survivors of the European Jewish diaspora) and yet this overly long and ridiculously detailed biography manages to suck the life out of it.

With hindsight, it can be seen that despite her much heralded beauty, Lamarr was actually a bit of a B-grade actress. And yet this book pedantically describes her every movie, including each costume worn, with snipped review quotes attempting to bolster her reputation.

Part of the allure of Lamarr was her mystery, with her accented voice and unapproachable beauty, and to plow through such attention to detail dulls the power of the myth.

Voluntary Madness memoir by Norah Vincent

This was awful. The first chapter gave me enough to know I didn't want to read further.

This self-proclaimed "immersion journalist" decides to admit herself to psychiatric care in a experiment to see how sane people cope in those surroundings. She then mentions that she actually has a history of mental illness - including a breakdown the preceding year.

And no less than three times in the first chapter, she mentions her concerns about the food on offer in these facilities and the risk of putting on weight. Not to judge or anything, but, um, ISSUES.

But worst of all, the writing was bad. There were inconsistencies in her reporting even between pages that faced each other in the book! One moment she was saying that patients were left to their own devices, staff remote and inaccessible - then the next she described in detail a chess game taking place between a patient and an orderly! It was impossible to take this seriously.

The Year of Magical Thinking memoir by Joan Didion

Wow. This is an incredible book. But I'm almost reluctant to recommend it, as it made me bawl - and that is not everyone's cup of tea!

A treatise on grief, we follow Didion's journey as she attempts to come to terms with an incomplete life following the death of her husband of nearly 40 years. Her honest portrayal of pain and love is so evocative it's hard not to be affected.

Princess Noire: The Tumultuous Reign of Nina Simone biography by Nadine Cohodas

Nina Simone! Don't tell me you don't love her! And you will have a greater respect for her work and her struggle after having read this detailed biography.

Did you know Nina herself played all the piano you hear in her songs? I did not! I was delighted to learn that the amazing music in songs like this was thanks to the woman herself:

And let's not forget the way it was sampled by Talib Kweli in this:

Wait, wait - no. Check out the official remix - what a line up!

Ok. What was I talking about??

Oh yeah - Nina.

She lived a long life but only saw royalties from her music in the last years - she was not wealthy even when she was at the peak of her career. This alone seems unjust, but when her mental health issues are factored in it makes it seem worse. Both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are mentioned in passing, but the author appeared unwilling to confirm a diagnosis.

Between this, her naturally abrasive personality and the fact that she was outspoken about civil rights at a time when you could wind up dead for doing so, Nina garnered a reputation for being difficult. And yet the legacy of her music is nothing but a pleasure.

And Now You Can Go autobiographical novel by Vendela Vida

Gahhh. Sorry, I was keen to like this, but, um, no. No siree. Barely read past the first pages.

WAIT. I just read a review of this and it turns out I must've read the whole thing!! Ye gods. Not a good sign.

The book opens with a traumatic event - the protagonist held at gunpoint in a public park. The rest of the book shows her dealing (and not dealing) with the aftermath. She ends a relationship, takes a spontaneous overseas trip, relies on her family for support but is shocked by the lengths her friends will go to.

And yet somehow all this is very disengaging. There is no drama beyond the initial conflict, we are just on the first-person ride of this confused woman's stream of consciousness. I remember being a self-absorbed 21 year old all too well, I don't want to relive it.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 21

2011-06-16T04:19:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 2.58pm NZ time |

Favourite action film

Leon: The Professional

"I’ve decided what to do with my life. I wanna be a cleaner."

The corrupt cop. The assassin with the heart of gold. And the young girl set on vengeance.

Not just an action film, Leon is also a romance. Between a man and his peace lily. Between a girl and the father she never had. Between the screen of your TV and some sweet slow motion shootout scenes.

After Natalie Portman won her Oscar this year, I saw a tweet asking "So when do we get to see Mathilde: The Professional?". GOOD CALL.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 20

2011-06-14T00:41:00.001+01:00

| by Bel | 11.39am NZ time |

Favourite film from your favourite actor/actress

Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Mads Mikkelsen (AKA 'Cheekbones' as he is known in my home) in Open Hearts

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 19

2011-06-13T10:55:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 9.51pm NZ time |

Favourite film based on a book/comic/etc

Everything Is Illuminated

Plenty of people would disagree that this film is a good adaptation of the book. I know what they mean. A whole third of the book's interwoven plot is completely ignored. The devasting final reveal is completely flipped. The undercurrents of Jonathan and Alex's correspondence is glossed over.

And yet I would still argue that it is an entertaining and engaging film in its own right.

So much of this is thanks to wonderful performances which bring the quirky characters fully to life.

And the script takes the best of the book's writing for hilariously quotable dialogue:

Unlike most adaptations where I would argue the book must be read first (The Beach is a great film but it makes so much more sense if you've read the novel), I think you can safely read Everything Is Illuminated after having seen the movie without denegrating the experience of enjoying the story on the page.

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 20

2011-06-12T15:33:00.007+01:00

| by Lou | 3.30pm UK time |

Favourite film from your favourite actor/actress

As usual I'm going to overload this due to my inability to pick just one. But as my all-time favourite actor's best film gets the big climactic Day 30 spot of fave film ever I shall skip him and go straight to...

Joaquin. Everybody knows that I love me some Joaquin. And my favourite film of his is of course the wonderful Walk the Line.

Smoking isn't cool, kids

This film thrilled me from the start, with Folsom Prison emerging to the pulsating and addictive beat of Cash's band. The story is cleverly plotted and meaningfully told, the music is fantastic (and sets the bar for other music biopics - how did Jamie Foxx win an Oscar for lip-syncing through Ray?), the romance is swoon-worthy (more so for being real), and Reese Witherspoon gives a perfect (and perfectly dressed) June Carter.

For me the star of the show is of course Joaquin. Two scenes stand out: the halting and indignant audition where a legend is born with a passionate rendition of Folsom Prison Blues (the film uses the first take); and the arrival of the Man in his cocky and charismatic performance of Cocaine Blues at Folsom Prison. Plus, I think he's really fucking hot in the role.

Topping the ladies is Kate Winslet. Whilst I don't like all her films, I always like her in the films. One of my favourites is Revolutionary Road, though perhaps favourite is a strong word to use for a film that leaves you feeling so drained.

Delighting the secret Titanic lover in us all, she reteamed with Leo (oh Leo) to prove why they have gone on from god-awful James Cameron dialogue to become the two greatest actors of their generation. They go at each other with such conviction that it's almost too horrendous to watch.

As ever she injects her role with depth and ambiguity and provides another thoroughly believable portrait of a woman. If you have never seen this film I would highly recommend it, but only on a dark and raining night when you are feeling emotionally strong enough to deal with an absolute battering.

Another film requiring emotional strength is a favourite from my other beloved actor (Ryan), Blue Valentine. (My real favourite is Half Nelson, but Bel has already covered that.)

Almost a contemporary hipster version of Revolutionary Road, Blue Valentine intertwines the intoxication of first falling in love with the heart-breaking process of falling out. The film is utterly excruciating to watch due to the painful realism provided by Ryan and Michelle Williams.

Ryan's performance acts as a caution tale for Women Who Fall For Inappopriate Men [Lou raises her hand sheepishly], injecting the early-20s version of his character with irresistable charm (he had me at ukulele), and flying the flag for emotional manipulation and immaturity in the jaded 30-ish-year-old. Recommended highly to singletons, but definitely a "proceed with caution" to couples.

No list would be complete without Meryl. Always brilliant, I love her in everything. But I think the film that gave me most delight - okay, I confess, I was practically bouncing with joy in the cinema - is Mamma Mia!.

Unapologetically fun and trashy, who can resist?! (Well, Bel, for a start.)

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 19

2011-06-09T22:44:00.006+01:00

| by Lou | 10.45pm UK time |

Favourite film based on a book/comic/etc

Shit man, I dunno!! It pretty much feels like everything is based on something these days, and so often I clock them when they suck (The Lovely Bones, I'm talking to you), rather than when they rule. But there are a few notable examples for me of films that I feel have done their source material justice, and then some.

First and foremost, the biggest and best of them all. The trilogy that made the impossible possible and turned me nerdier than I ever dreamed, all made in our backyard:

The Lord of the Rings

The Hobbits! I love you! Well, most of you. Sam, you're blurred for a reason.

Aragorn! Boromir! I love you. You gave us the best death scene - the best.

But Gandalf. Oh Gandalf. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Fucking aye.

I don't care how much they have gathered scorn in their years since release, I think they are perfection and I will spend the rest of my life reliving them over and over again. (I'm limiting it to a splurge on the whole extended trilogy once every two years, just to keep them on their pedastal.)

An adaptation in an entirely different genre that I absolutely love is:

Atonement

They had me at C U N T.

Click here for the animated gif!

It is the one film in which I can abide Keira Knightley's presence, and isn't James McAvoy just the bestest? He is Sweetie McSweet, and yet when they have that shag in the library it is so fucking HOT.

I have to confess that I saw the film before I had read the book. I loved it, but felt like something was missing. So I read the book, and my god! It is a work of genius! And after reading it the film became perfect. And I cried - cried and cried and cried - at the tragic heart of it, embodied in its smallest moment: when Robbie and Cecelia meet for a cup of tea. Fuck! How many war-time love stories ended with just such a scene? Gah!

This second-viewing of Atonement gave me a rule that is now set in stone:

READ THE BOOK FIRST

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 18, part II

2011-06-08T23:02:00.004+01:00

| by Lou | 11.02pm UK time |

On the first attempt at Day 18 I couldn't think of a good example of the type of film I was referencing (this being of course a demonstration of how rare and rarely seen they are...), but I just realised that one of the beloved films in my DVD collection fits the bill perfect. Thus, Day 18 part II:

A film that you wish more people would’ve seen

Rachel Getting Married

Anne Hathaway plays a woman embroiled in a long-term battle with drug addiction who is released from rehab to attend her sister's wedding. All the family's demons come to the surface in an emotional shitstorm that is incredibly well written and well acted.

Unusually, the film treats its female leads as multi-faceted individuals with a relationship that is complex and fragile. The tension, shame, rage and love between the sisters is palpable, and it's such a treat to see them play it out to its full.

The other elements of the film also all veer away from Hollywood standard: the romantic relationships cross race without comment (usually it becomes the story, inherently positioning it as something atypical); their parents' family roles and personalities are against type; sex is portrayed as just sex; etc etc.

Before this I had never really understood what was so great about Hathaway, but this demonstrated that it's the lack of great roles to be lamented amongst Hollywood's It actresses, not a lack of acting chops. I wish this film had been seen by more people and made more money so that actresses like her were given more opportunities to tell stories about women and the relationships between women.

High recommended! In fact, I think you should feel obliged to pay money to hire/buy this DVD and help encourage more to be made like it.

Film review: I Saw The Devil (Korea) and No Strings Attached

2011-06-08T03:27:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 2.27pm NZ time |

Here is my review of the 7 minutes I watched of I Saw The Devil:

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Here's the scene: it's nighttime, on a dark and isolated road. (ARE YOU TOTALLY FREAKING OUT ALREADY?) A woman sits in her broken down car, talking on her cellphone to her partner. He is far away and although offers to help, she says she'll wait for road service. (OK WHAT ABOUT NOW? YOU ALREADY KNOW SOMETHING REALLY BAD IS GONNA HAPPEN HUH?)

Suddenly (AAARGGHH!) a figure appears at the fogged up window. A man questions the girl and offers assistance. She thanks him but insists she is fine. You have a moment of thinking it's just a fake out and that all is well - then his eyes literally flash a glowing red in the moment he disappears from view. (AAARGGHH!!!)

The woman has to end her call and sits in silence. (SWEATY PALMS, YE GODS.) She is nervous and flicks on her headlights to illuminate the road ahead. Nothing.

THEN HER WINDOW IS SMASHED WITH A MALLET AS THE SCARY GUY HAMMERS HIS WAY INTO THE CAR AND BASHES HER SCREAMING HEAD IN.

(I kid you not.)

Yeah, so that was the end of that screening. I demanded an immediate antidote, which was served in the form of No Strings Attached.

This film is heaps better than you would expect. Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher both play likeable, believable characters with an excellent supporting cast. Sure, you know what's going to happen at the end, but there are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments along the way, with some emotional stuff and saucy scenes too.

One thing I loved in this film was that there was a scene where condom use was negotiated and that protected sex was portrayed as the best option in a casual relationship.

Can you imagine me yelling out joyfully "Negotiation of condom use! Awesome!"? Because I did. I also cried out "I bet you a dollar that this was written by a woman!". And guess who is a dollar richer, folks. (It's me.)

The photo above is from my favourite scene. The all women household is having synchronised period pains. Although I wondered whether they were going overboard with a depiction of menstruation as a debilitating female condition, I decided in the end that having the male character demonstrating his consideration with delivery of snacks and a mixtape balanced it out.

Also, the line "Tea for your 'gina?" still has me cracking up.

In summary:

I Saw The Devil - not recommended in the slightest, even if you enjoyed other Korean horrors such as Old Boy or Tale of Two Sisters. (Or The Chaser, which is also ultra-violent, but I would recommend.)

No Strings Attached - recommended or even, in the rom-com category, highly recommended.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 18

2011-06-08T02:56:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 1.47pm NZ time |

A film that you wish more people would’ve seen

Wow. I really can't think of an answer for this one.
What did Lou write??

*goes and checks Lou's post*

Ooh yeah, good point about female protagonists. I second that!

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 18

2011-06-07T16:06:00.004+01:00

| by Lou | 4.05pm UK time |

A film that you wish more people would’ve seen

Every single film with a strong female protragonist - particularly where the female is past puberty, has strong relationships with other women, and is engaged in a storyline related to anything other than just-another-fucking-version of being needy towards men and wanting to get married.

This reminds me of a time that I popped in to that DVD store on Lambton Quay that pretends to be better than a chainstore, and took a look at their Top 100 DVDs. (As chosen by themselves, I must specify.) Only 4 had female protagonists, 3 of those were pre-pubescent (Leon, Whale Rider, Spirited Away), and of course 1 those is animated. The other was Alien - perhaps the one time a woman has managed to slip through the net. (Bonus: vagina imagery that isn't designed to titillate!) Assholes.

At this point I will confess I myself have not seen the most recent prominent example of a film fitting into this criteria, Winter's Bone. I SHALL FIX THIS.

This is meant to be the totally awesome "Winter's Boooone" clip of Wayne and Garth giving their Oscars picks on SNL this year. But I can't find it anywhere that is available in the UK - booo hoo!! I shall leave it on in the hopes that at least Kiwilanders can see it *epic sad face*

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 17

2011-06-07T04:12:00.001+01:00

| by Bel | 3.12pm NZ time |

A film that disappointed you the most

I hated the ending of Coraline. SPOILERS AHOY (duhh).

The book, and graphic novel, of Coraline is a great read, if a little scary for younger kids. Neil Gaiman has a knack for children's books which push at the boundaries of what parents are comfortable with.

The film version is pretty good, if you don't mind the strange puppetry style. But what really bugged me was the introduction of Wybie, the boy living next door. He's not in the book at all but is a key player in the film.

Neil Gaiman has responded in interviews by saying that the creation of a completely new character was an essential cinematic device. In the book version, Coraline is alone but the reader has access to her thoughts. They needed somebody for her to speak to in the film to avoid dominating the scenes with voice-over or clunky exposition.

Ok, sure. But sheesh - did they have to also write in a boy-saves-the-day moment in the film's climatic scene??

Coraline, who has managed to think for herself and risk all sorts of dangers throughout the story, is rescued by Wybie at a crucial final moment of the film. I feel that it would have been far more satisfying, and true to Coraline's character, if she had been able to extricate herself. Instead, Wybie's arc is completed by his managing to stop everything from plummeting into disaster when Coraline can't.

MESSAGE: Don't worry, as long as there's a boy around, all will be well!

Sigh.

This was also my first - and only - experience of watching a 3D DVD at home. It was awful. We re-started the film in normal 2D after only a few minutes. Gahhh.

Review: Colour B4 hair dye removal

2011-06-06T15:04:00.007+01:00

| by Bel | 9.00am NZ time |

I have been dying my hair non-stop for over a decade now. My mousy blonde days are long behind as I successfully trick the world into believing I am a brunette, thanks to chemicals.

But at the start of this year, I had hairdresser disaster where my "warm chocolate brown" was interpreted as a sort of burgundy purple. The re-do appointment left me with very dark hair, which wasn't in very good condition.

And before long, this happened:

Regrowth. *shudder*

I was contemplating buying a home dye to just try and override everything. But then the box of Colour B4 (official website) caught my eye. It was more expensive than most supermarket box dyes, but online reviews were pretty positive.

I splashed out, figuring that things couldn't get any worse.

I bought the "Extra Strength" variety as this was recommended for removal of darker shades or when your hair has been dyed several times. Check and check. The result was a pleasingly distinct change in colour for much less cost than getting it stripped out by a professional.

My main warning with this product is that it stinks. Like, stinks. I've mostly used nice ammonia-free dyes lately but hadn't forgotten that hair dye usually has a weird toxic smell. However this stench was beyond anything ever before.

Rotting eggs is the best way to describe it.

And to boot, you have to leave the solution in for 45 minutes. Yes, nearly an hour of sitting around with a stinky rotten odour in close proximity to my nose.

I also felt self-conscious over the next week that when my hair was wet, the smell reemerged. I'm not sure if this was me being hyper sensitive or not! I would suggest following up the hair dye removal with a couple of days of deep conditioning treatments if you are equally paranoid.

The change was noticeable straight away, even while my hair was still wet. It was several shades lighter than before, no distinct regrowth - and the streak in my hair was a bleached white colour.

At first it seemed my hair had taken on a ginger look, but it soon settled down to a more natural light brown.

Here is a pic I took the next day to send to Lou:

I would recommend Colour B4 for remedying any hair dye disasters you might have, or for when you are took broke to get your roots down and just want a change.

Oh and as you can see, I didn't succumb to temptation and my hair is still long!

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 17

2011-06-04T07:00:00.001+01:00

| by Lou | 7:00am UK time |

A film that disappointed you the most

I would put The Time Traveller's Wife here but a) I sort of knew it was going to be shit, and b) it was so shit that it actually pains me to talk about it. I just kind of have to pretend that The Time Traveller's Wife is the-best-book-never-to-be-made-into-a-film, as if it never happened and someday maybe someone talented who actually understands what is so great about the book will give it the adaptation that it deserves.

Here instead is a disappointment that brings up no sense of horror but was rather just one of those "Oh? This is what everyone has been raving about? Really?" moments. At the risk of being lynched because I'm sure you were one of the people raving about it... Here goes:

I was really disappointed by the film Up.

Yes, the opening of the film is wonderful. It would make The World's Best Short Film Ever. And the idea of someone attaching balloons to their house and flying away is fantastic. And the talking dog is clever and hilarious.

But after that... well, didn't you think that after they landed it all got really boring? And that all the crazy man/ jungle/ dog shit was just plain stupid and pointless? And that the high emotionality of the first 10 minutes sort of just emphasises how empty the second half of the film is?

Okay, just sayin'...

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 16

2011-06-03T11:00:00.005+01:00

| by Lou | 11:05am UK time |

A film that you used to love but now hate

I've been mulling over this and can't think of a single one.

You see, there are films that I used to love that I now instinctually avoid (one can assume that one's 30-year-old self will react quite different to Forrest Gump than one's 14-year-old self), and there are films I used to love that I now also love for their absolute cheese (top of the list here is Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves).

So instead of trying to force myself to come up with one I am going to use today to talk about something completely different.

The other day I watched The Philadelphia Stoy, which has featured on both Bel and Sonal's lists as a much-loved film.

Imagine my surprise when I discover that my much loved film High Society is actually a musical remake of The Philadelphia Story (the original film itself being an adaptation of the play).

Not particuarly remarkable, and in fact I'm sure most everyone familiar with either film already knew this... but! Isn't it weird that two films made 16 years apart should have the same Little Sister and the same Uncle Willie?

Were they suspended in time hanging out in the mansion waiting for the next film crew to arrive?

I present the evidence:

"Virginia Weidler" as Dinah Lord in 1940:

"Lydia Reed" as Caroline Leed in 1956:

"Roland Young" as Uncle Willie in 1940:

"Louis Calhern" as Uncle Willie in 1956:

Adding colour doesn't fool me!

For those who have seen neither film, I recommend going in chronological order. Knowing the story won't ditract from the gloriousness of seeing Sinatra and Crosby in full swing, whereas the reverse does deteriorate the gloriousness of seeing Katherine Hepburn in top form.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 16

2011-06-03T00:45:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 11.29am NZ time |

A film that you used to love but now hate

Let me clarify immediately. I do not hate Donnie Darko. I love Donnie Darko and always will.

What I hate is the re-release "director's cut" version of Donnie Darko.

The original film had a very short run at the cinema and achieved its cult following after it came out on DVD. I was lucky enough to catch it at the NZ International Film Festival and was instantly smitten.

However, eventually Richard Kelly put together a "director's cut" version, stating that his debut had been let done by a lack of funds for special effects, music licensing etc.

I excitedly went to the movies in the middle of the day, expecting to joyously watch one of my favourite films.

Within moments my nerdy heart sunk and I knew I was going to experience nothing but disappointment. Because that iconic and perfectly balanced opening sequence, of Donnie waking on the ridge-top road and cycling back down to his home, had been mutilated beyond repair: they'd stuck a different song on. No more Echo and the Bunnymen. No more warm-fuzzy feelings from that first three minutes of screentime.

And from there it only got worse. Digital effects were used to overlay pages from Roberta Sparrow's book, making the mysterious time travel themes condescendingly obvious.

The intrigue and ambiguity which made the original so compelling was stripped right out, and instead we got to watch completely thought-unprovoking screen-saver-esque footage to spell out the plot.

Any and all deleted scenes were jammed back in, making the film 1) longer and 2) cluttered with unnecessary detail on characters which the viewer has already embraced.

There may be a chance that there's still people out there who haven't see Donnie Darko at all. I would implore that you seek out the original release and avoid the director's cut version like the plague.

If you would like to read more on the differences between the Donnie Darkos, check out other irate fans here and here.

(And let's not even mention the straight-to-video "sequel".)

EVERYBODY IS PREGNANT

2011-05-31T22:31:00.000+01:00

| by Bel | 9.32am NZ time |

"EVERYBODY IS PREGNANT"

This catchphrase has increasingly come into usage (between me and Lou exclusively, sure, still counts) in the last few years, as we realised that, um, everybody is pregnant.

It's not some kind of metaphor for creative potential or spiritual fulfillment. I actually mean that it seems that each and every uterus around me has slid the sign from 'vacant' to 'occupied'.

My bestest, oldest friend is pregnant. Along with two other friends from back in our high school days. And then I was told a fourth was up the duff too. Did I miss the memo? Are we coordinating a tiny sized sequel to the group of girls who hung out back then?

This week I sat with glazed eyes as two parents bonded over their varying experiences with... um, something to do with having babies. Which they found immensely interesting and useful to share knowledge about. Meanwhile:

Yeah, that's me. Thinking about the ballet.

Is it selfish of me to not engage? Or is it just indicative of my personal immediate priorities?

I am of course happy for all these expanding families and the exciting new path they are heading along.

But with me not on that path right now, I am fretting a little too.

Because the kicker is that EVERYBODY IS PREGNANT doesn't take long to turn into EVERYBODY IS BUSY WITH THEIR BABIES.

My mind is already jumping ahead to a year from now, two years, five. When these friends whom I have shared so much with will be occupied with something that I can't relate to. Being out of step with your friends' lives can have a real impact. Choosing to not have children (in the short term, long term, whatever) shapes a life which has different considerations to those who are in the midst of parenting.

The obvious solution is that I jump on the bandwagon and get knocked up like all the rest of them. But after having spent years hacking through the jungle that is building a career, I'm just don't feel like the time is right. Even if everybody else is doing it.

Birth control

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 15

2011-05-29T21:20:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 8.12am here Wellington NZ |

A character who you can relate to the most

Age approximately 11 years:

Strictly Ballroom

Mum took me to see this at the movies and, as a glasses-wearing dance enthusiast, I was transfixed.

Age approximately 14 years:

Clueless

I don't know if this so much counts as a 'relate to' as it was an 'aspire to'.

Age approximately 20 years:

Reality Bites

To the extent that I actually considered reading her speech verbatim when I was valedictorian at my graduation a few years later.

Age approximately 24 years:

Garden State

This film hasn't aged well, but it timed itself perfectly with my quarter life crisis and thus served its purpose perfectly.

Age last week:

The Other Woman AKA Love and Other Impossible Pursuits

A frank portrayal of step-parenting that made me want to hide behind a cushion more than once.

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 15

2011-05-27T21:22:00.005+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 9.30pm here in London UK |

A character who you can relate to the most

The first film character to really connect with me (as an adult - obviously My Girl had already achieved it in my youth) was our beloved Amelie.

The moment that cements it is when Amelie's crush has come into her brasserie to meet his enigmatic soul-mate. Unable to handle her emotions face-to-face with him she denies that it is her and let's him leave. Ashamed of herself she physically melts:

GIFSoup

This is one of those moments of cinema where I felt a pang of fundamental recognition right in my gut, and knew that nothing would ever so ably capture this emotion.

(I'm yet to be whisked away on a moped to ride laughing through beautiful cobbled streets.)

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 14

2011-05-27T21:12:00.004+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 9.15pm here in London UK |

A film that no one would expect you to love

Err, with my tastes I kind of feel like not much would surprise my friends when it comes to films I love... but one that might is:

Jackass

I've seen the first two multiple times, including going to see the second one in the cinema by myself.

Hmm this reminds me that I never did get round to seeing the 3D one... I wonder if it's still on somewhere?

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 14

2011-05-27T04:47:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 3.39pm here in Wellington NZ |

A film that no one would expect you to love

Hmm does the confession of my last blog count?

Or do I need to own up to my love of Poirot also?

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 13

2011-05-27T00:58:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 11.15am here in Wellington NZ |

A film that is a guilty pleasure

The Transporter and Transporter 2. Okay and Transporter 3 too, you got me.

These movies are fun to watch. The stunt driving is amazing, there's lots of cool martial arts fighting, things blow up very regularly and Jason Stratham prefers to beat up baddies whilst topless.

But the funnest part? When you know that the transporter is gay.

This puts a delightfully subversive edge on the testosterone-fuelled action as the director says, "You see these tough guys who say, ‘The Transporter, that’s such a great movie!’ If they only knew they’re really cheering for a new kind of action hero."

Sweet car, exciting fighting and a woman that he has no interest in

The third film has a different director, the wonderously named Olivier Megaton, and it features Frank's first ever liaison with a woman, landing him safely back in mainstream (and cliched) territory.

But I still think our 21st century action hero has a place in his heart for Inspector Tarconi AKA obviously his lover.

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 13

2011-05-26T21:57:00.005+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 10.00pm here in London UK |

A film that is a guilty pleasure

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on...

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on...

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on...

Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on.

"I'll never let go!" "How about giving me a leg up onto the door?"

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 12

2011-05-25T22:48:00.001+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 9.40am here in Wellington NZ |

A film that you hate

The Killer Inside Me

I only watched 20 minutes or less of this movie before leaving the room and putting on headphones in my bedroom. I felt physically ill. I was upset still the next day and tried to appease some of it by making a donation to Women's Refuge.

The violence and the sexualisation of violence is abhorrent. I feel the film is sadly accurate in its evocation of family violence in that women are most likely to be killed by their partner. Having to see a young woman's face get repeatedly smashed by the fist of her boyfriend as she cries out that she loves him was too chilling.

(Because in case you were wondering and possibly thinking the hype means it's worth watching, when a commentator says "he beats her to a pulp" that is meant literally. You have been warned.)

Don't try and tell me some bullshit about how the film having an emotional impact shows its power of storytelling. I don't wanna hear about the book it was based on and how that somehow justifies the content. You can fuck right off with your explanations of how there is a moral underpinning to balance out other connotations.

There are enough women being murdered and raped in their homes without Hollywood adding a 'sexy' fictional version.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 11

2011-05-25T22:07:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 9.09am here in Wellington NZ |

A film that changed your opinion about something

The Notebook has already been mentioned and debated on this blog - more than once. For many, this film sealed Ryan Gosling in their hearts, if he wasn't there perpetually thanks to his youthful performances on The Mickey Mouse Club.

But not me. I didn't really get it about him. His eyes are a bit close together. He's on the pasty side. His big romantic gesture is taking a lifetime to build a house that no one lives in, or something.

But Half Nelson changed all that.

Here he plays a charming and engaging primary school teacher who has a drug problem. Or, if you like, he plays a waster junkie who works as a teacher.

The duplicity of the character and the way the film also delves into issues of race, education and ambition is captivating. I was unsure why a rom-com star had been cast in a film which dared to present such complex issues - and then I discovered that Ryan Gosling was an actor who will take on a role and truly sink his teeth into it.

Half Nelson is a highly recommended watch. You can also see Ryan Gosling acting his chops off in Blue Valentine if you want further proof, but that film is fairly torturous if you have ever been in a relationship of any kind ever, so it does not come with the Bel-says-check-it-out-now seal of approval.

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 12

2011-05-24T08:36:00.005+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 8.35am here in London UK |

A film that you hate

There is one film I hate above and beyond all others. It isn't the worst film ever made, but it is the worst film ever to win a Best Picture Oscar. I am of course talking about none other than Paul Haggis' Crash.

I fucking hate Crash.

I fucking hate it for winning the Oscar ahead of one of the truly great films of recent years (Brokeback Mountain), I fucking hate it for winning in some sort of weird anti-PC PC vote ("Hey! Let's hide our homophobia by voting for a bleeding-heart faux-PC film!"), and - to give a reason that actually belongs in the film itself - I fucking hate it for being the most pretentious, empty and chokingly manipulative film I have ever seen.

I hate it so much that I don't even want to bother writing why.

I will concede that Matt Dillon managed to make this scene genuinely spine-crawling. That is all.

So I googled "I fucking hate the film Crash" and this this was the top result (but one of only many, I must specify). I believe he/she sums it all up in saying:

I’m generally a forgiving filmgoer, but Crash’s gross tone of self-importance really bugged the shit out of me. The movie casts itself as a gritty and in-your-face exposé on race in contemporary America, but it isn’t exposing jack. And it’s certainly not gritty. It’s pandering in knowingly fabricated, cheesy moments to elicit easy emotions.

Yup. A rich white guy wrote a script full of coincidence and forced sentiment with which to pontificate to the masses from behind his big fence (did I mention he was an active high-ranking Scientologist at the time?), and people lapped it up. I fucking hated it.

(Fun facts! My second-most hated film (the subsequent winner of the Best Picture Oscar Million Dollar Baby) was also written by Paul Haggis. And! My third-most hated film (The Last Kiss) - guess who that was written by? Ding-ding-ding, we have a winner: Paul Haggis.)

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 11

2011-05-22T16:13:00.005+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 4.15pm here in London UK |

A film that changed your opinion about something

Um, well, I just watched Lost in Translation again last night and it turns out it really is an excellent film and so I am changing my opinion that Sofia Coppola is not all that great.

You see, the other time I saw it I had never been to a far-off destination, never had a hotel room to myself, never stared at an alarm clock at 4.20am willing myself to be able to sleep, never clicked with a total stranger I wouldn't ever see again, and never had a random disconnected night in a foreign country. To me the film was meaningless and completely lacking in a story.

Put all those elements in place - and repeat, time and time again - and suddenly it all makes sense.

My apologies, Ms Coppola.

30 days of film: Bel's day 10

2011-05-16T08:40:00.001+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 6.18pm here in Wellington NZ |

Favourite classic film

Yay! I have been waiting for this one.

1941's The Philadelphia Story, based on the Broadway play, starring Katharine Hepburn, Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart and Ruth Hussey.

In many ways, this is just a straight up rom-com. But it's funny and sexy and has its tongue firmly in cheek. Sonal named this one of her happy place films, praising female characters' firey attitudes, saying that it's "one hell of a film to lift a girl out of the dumps". AGREED.

This film is worth watching solely for Katharine Hepburn's drunk scene. She does the best plastered you have ever seen. Until you see Jimmy Stewart acting pissed a few scenes later.

Another bonus of this film for me is Dinah, the younger sister. 1) She is the perfect mix of pesky and cute, and 2) she bears an uncanny resemblence to my younger stepdaughter when she was a pipsqueak!

Take a look at this original trailer, with all its hilarious olde tyme language:

(Watching clips on YouTube made me yearn to see this again - I have foolishly leant my DVD copy out to a former workmate! Fooool!)

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 10

2011-05-16T07:01:00.002+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 7.00am here in London UK |

Favourite classic film

I fucking love Chinatown.

If you have never seen it, stop reading this post (spoiler!), and go and rent it immediately.

Watching the film the title seems random, until in the last scene it is like a punch in the gut. Jack Nicholson's delivery of the elusive and wonderful line - "as little as possible" - is sheer perfection.

30 Days of Film: Lou's day 9

2011-05-15T17:38:00.005+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 5.40pm here in London UK |

A film with the best soundtrack

Argh, I don't know!! A whole bunch of obvious faves come to mind (Reservoir Dogs, Dirty Dancing, Trainspotting), then the musicals elbow in (Grease, The Sound of Music, The Rocky Horror Picture Show), and then I get more confused thinking of the ones with lovely instrumental music (The Piano, Amelie, even Shutter Island), and do The Beatles' films count? (A Hard Day's Night!!), and I just don't know!

But here are three that might not be the best soundtracks, but they're worthy of note:

High Society

Take a bit of Frank Sinatra, add Bing Crosby, slip in a dash of Louis Armstrong, sprinkle with Grace Kelly, and you've got a winner on your hands.

This song makes me happy:

How did I get to my late-20s before discovering the full wonderousness of Mr Sinatra?

Pump Up The Volume

(Have you guessed who my teen idol was?)

This was the first film soundtrack I remember capturing my affection. I actually taped the songs onto cassette straight from the TV.

Because Bel and I just love YouTube fan videos, here is Everybody Knows:

Now excuse me while I go add this to my LoveFilm list. (Drats - they don't have it.)

Once

I've spoken at length before about how much I love (LOVE) the most known song from this film, Falling Slowly. But this teensy tiny budgeted Irish film also boasts a whole host of other fantastic songs, though unfortunately ones that are difficult to find on YouTube...

Here is If You Want Me, but hey why not give some fringe filmmakers and musicians some money by hiring the whole film?

I want to be this person's friend.

2011-05-15T17:33:00.003+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 5.33pm here in London UK |

Reading Letters to the Editor is often a soul-sucking activity that provides a reminder of how many ignorant fuckwits there are in the world.

I think this is the first time reading them has made me want to turn to the person next to me on the tube and give them a high five:

Ellie, can we be friends?

30 days of film: Bel's day 9

2011-05-15T02:13:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 12.50pm here in Wellington NZ |

A film with the best soundtrack

Dave Chappelle's Block Party.

Kanye West (pre-jackass blowout phase) with a full marching brass band bussed in from a high school in Dave Chappelle's hometown.

Jill Scott, killing it. (This isn't the Block Party clip, but you should do yourself a favour and listen to this.)

The Fugees, reunited. A sight we never thought we'd see. (You've heard what happened between Lauryn Hill and Wyclef Jean, right? Lordy me.)

And The Roots as house band, Questlove in perfect control no matter who rolls up. Even my beloved, Mos Def.

Oh and Michel Gondry directed it to boot. Don't tell me you're not into rap music, this film is a delight and will make you laugh and want to party.

Sometimes you can't decide

2011-05-14T05:03:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 4.03pm here in Wellington NZ |

Do you want your drink hot... or cold? Both?

Somebody at my work just couldn't decide. Or their thermos broke.

Or perhaps they don't quite have an understanding of the concept of a thermos. Or a fridge.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 8

2011-05-14T03:58:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 8.05am here in Wellington NZ |

A film that you’ve seen countless times

Last year, this film was Star Trek.

Photo: the extremely good looking cast of the latest Star Trek movie.

I'm not a Trekkie by any means. I only have vague memories of watching re-runs of the original show when I was a kid, and have never seen any of the remakes with Jean Luc Picard and who have you. When I first saw the trailer at the movies, I had no idea which movie it was for, even after the supposedly big reveal of the main character stating his name was James T Kirk. (I actually said "who?". And yes I got the punnies.)

But this movie ticks all the boxes. Fun to watch! Things blow up! Cool technology! Bad guy is bad! Good guy realises he is good! Girl shoots down advances of arrogant boy!

It became our default viewing. I even put it on when Mum came to stay for a weekend - she loved it, what a nerd.

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 8

2011-05-13T19:19:00.005+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 7.20pm here in London UK |

A film that you've seen countless times

There was a rich man from Nottingham
Who tried to cross a river
What a dope! He tripped on a rope!
Now look at him shiver.
Beg for mercy rich man!

I may have watched Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves once or twice in the '90s.

What was with Christian Slater's trousers, btw? Are they domed? Is it a pattern?
Seriously?! This has been troubling me for 20 years!

But of course the real repeat-viewing hero of my life is none other than The Greatest Film Of All Time Dirty Dancing.

Rest in peace Patrick, rest in peace.

Back in ye olde days I discovered that my flatmates had never seen it, so we popped to the video store (do they still make those?) and got it out on an 8 day hire and ended up watching it every day. Not too long ago Cara and I had it on while boozing and let it run through 3 times. I feel like going and watching it right now just from talking about it.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 7

2011-05-11T23:41:00.001+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 7.43am here in Wellington NZ |

The most surprising plot twist or ending

As someone who HATES spoilers, I am upset by the existence of this topic. Telling someone that a film has a surprise ending takes away from the surprise!

That said, SPOILERS ahoy.

You can actually buy that shirt from Threadless. IF YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON.

I'm only going to name titles here. If you've seem them, you'll know why and let's talk in the comments - if you haven't, LOOK AWAY:

Old Boy
The Truman Show
La Haine

Huh, two outta three are "foreign" films. I guess The Sixth Sense reps it for Hollywood's contribution to the twist ending, but sadly its impact has been dulled by exposure.

A movie whose twist ending I hated? Wild Things. Yeah, ok, sure, that's not really the point of that movie - but still, it's not actually clever when all the information about the twist has been completely left out of the rest of the plotline. (But for some interesting writing on Wild Things, check out This Recording.)

I need 11 more things!

2011-05-11T20:40:00.001+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 7.15 here in Wellington NZ |

Have you heard of the Day Zero Project? You make yourself a list of 101 things to do in 1001 days and the website helps you keep track.

If you are a dork like me who loves making lists, and realised recently that turning 30 is only eighteen months away, this kind of thing is a goldmine.

My 1001 days takes me to 15th December 2013 and so far I have ticked off one thing on my list (visiting Bridal Veil Falls/Waireinga) and made progress on a few others.

Photo: A beautiful long waterfall being gazed upon by
a young girl in a cap and a woman wearing polka dots.

But I haven't actually got the full roster of 101 tasks yet!

Some things were super easy. Straight to the top of the list were things like going on our honeymoon (one day! finally! eventually!), visiting Lou before she retires and moves back here to spend time with her grandkids, and getting some new tattoos.

But once you get to around the #70s of the list, it gets tough. You either start scraping the barrel (#72: Buy a teapot that pours nicely) or get really honest (#76: Financially stable enough to consider pregnancy).

ETA Here are a few other examples:

Write my pepeha/mihimihi
Go on a yoga retreat
Write a children's book
Get a yukka plant
Restock on nice perfume
Buy a food processor or bench top mixer
Go to the Whangamata beach hop
Visit the zoo

But now I'm up to 90 things and I'm stuck. Less than a dozen left and my list will be complete. (And then I can get on to making my life complete. Hah!)

Do you any ideas for me? Are you doing the Day Zero Project? Do you have a five year plan?

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 7

2011-05-09T21:36:00.002+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 9.38pm here in London UK |

The most surprising plot twist or ending

I really genuinely did not see the twist of The Sixth Sense coming.

I saw all of its successors in about 3 seconds (if not just from the poster (yes I'm talking to you The Others)), but The Sixth Sense itself totally shocked me.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 6

2011-05-03T22:33:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 9.32am here in Wellington NZ |

Favourite made for TV film

Hmm. I dunno. I don't actually own a telly so this is quite tricky for me. I haven't lived in a house with a telly for, um, 5 or 6 years?? Gosh, maybe longer.

Could I go out on a limb and say it is one I haven't seen? That one James Franco made where he plays James Dean?

Or maybe the one about Big Edie and Little Edie with Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore? I have heard that both of those are great.

I am also really looking forward to that new Jane Campion project "The Top of the Lake" which is going to be filmed in New Zealand. I shall specifically hunt out a television to watch that once it comes around!

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 5

2011-05-03T21:42:00.001+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 8.43am here in Wellington NZ |

Favourite love story in a film

"We have a whole life to live together you fucker, but it can't start until you call."

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 6

2011-05-03T15:01:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 3.00pm here in London UK |

Favourite made for TV film

I'm not a big viewer of made-for-TV-films, but one that stands out for me is My Boy Jack. Written by and starring a fantastic David Haig, it is an adaptation of his play about Rudyard Kipling's grief at losing his son in WWI.

I cried uncontrollably after seeing it and ended up having to watch Flight of the Conchords to try and console myself.

(Warning: Daniel Radcliffe plays Jack, and ... err ... well, forgive his acting.)

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 5

2011-05-02T14:17:00.005+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 3.00pm here in London UK |

Favourite love story in a film

I've just spent some quality time in front of my DVD collection contemplating this one. Some seem too sad (where was the devastation of Brokeback Mountain when I was writing my sad list?), others too intoxicatingly heightened (Moulin Rouge). Here are the four I've come up with that are neither exagerrated or tragic, with advance apologies to the many of you disgusted by my love for the last one.

When Harry Met Sally

This is a definite contender for Greatest Romantic Comedy of All Time. Neither lead is perfect, there are no plot falsities keeping them apart, the dialogue sparkles, it's warm and funny, and utterly believable. Also: bonus points for a high level of NYC content.

For those of us long-term singletons, isn't it a dream that one day someone with whom you share an easy and comfortable friendship with will turn out to be the love of your life? (Unfortunately I have zero contenders for this!)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I love the ordinariness of this relationship - that it is two perfectly normal people with normal people's problems and insecurities, all wrapped up in a mind-fuck of a plot.

The journey of seeing their relationship intensify and recede as we spin between the bitter end and the disappearing romance of the beginning, while his subconscious battles against the loss through a surreal landscape, is a stunning achievement of cinematic writing and direction.

Sense And Sensibility

You didn't think I'd write this list without a bit of Austen did you? In this case I have to go for Emma Thompson's adaptation of Sense of Sensibility, specifically the love story between her Marianne and Hugh Grant's Edward.

I'm biased towards this one as I am a sucker for people who get together in the end in spite of sense and shyness getting in the way of taking a proactive approach. The scene where he tells her it is his brother who married and she lets out a sob is a guaranteed tear-jerker for me.

The Notebook

You knew it was coming. From falling asleep on first watch and thinking it was the most boring film of all-time, I am now a complete sobber even after a half dozen viewings. But you're wrong about what part of the film I refer to - it's not the idealised courtship of yesteryear between Our Ryan and Rachel McAdams (complete with passionate kiss in the rain) that gets me.

In The Notebook we see the tailend of a love story - the two people who have spent a life together and find the ravages of dementia stripping it all away. Heart-breaking to think how many times this is played out in the real world.

Oh, and did I mention Ryan?

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 4

2011-04-27T00:16:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 4.04pm here in Wellington NZ |

A film that makes you sad

Three films that make me cry every time:

Aaah, Two Cars One Night. Simple, funny, poignant. So much about this short film cracks me up - and yet by the end of it I still feel the tears welling.

Amelie. Oh Amelie! Obviously I don't mean the whole film here, how could that be, when it is one of the most joyous and uplifting films to watch??

I just mean one scene in particular, which will have me sniffing and snivelling every time - despite the fact that I've watched this film so many times over.

It's the bit when Amelie sets things up so the owner (Bre - to - deau!) of the time capsule she's discovered comes across it seemingly randomly.

He is amazed to see once again all these relics of his childhood and we enter a beautiful swirl of flashbacks. ("La pince! La piiiiiince!")

Amelie is slyly watching this carthatic moment, revelling in her good deed. They then cross paths in a bar, Amelie not revealing her identity as he muses aloud and talks of the childhood he is missing out on by not connecting with his grandson. (Amelie then does this super cute hiccup thing.)

The anticipation and nostalgia of this scene is overwhelming, and beautifully acted and shot. For me, it is the highlight of a film which reigns supreme in my opinions.

HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS THERE"S A GIF:

!!!!!!!!!!!
EMOTIONAL!!

My third example is Dancer In The Dark. I assume this is a film that would make me cry every time - except that I will never watch it again.

Have I blogged about this before?? Oh well, gather round while nana retells it.

I had gotten my wires crossed with this film - I'd heard it was a musical and then for some reason thought that the music video for Bjork's It's Oh So Quiet was from in the movie. So I was expecting something in the vein of Hollywood golden age song and dance Singing In The Rain type thing.

SPOILER: totally not like that.

I restarted the DVD twice because I thought that I had accidentally put on a behind-the-scenes feature. Then I realised that this gritty, underplayed cinema veritie style was the actual movie. And then I spent the next two hours getting my emotions pummelled right in the face.

I was home alone with no flatmates around and when it finished (I was sobbing by then), I called a friend and managed to choke out: "I... (cry cry) just watched... Dancer In The Dark... (cry cry) by myself!". My friend was aghast. "You did what?! Why?? Where are you? Stay there! I'm coming round!" And I was then taken out for a restorative hot chocolate and warned thoroughly about the dangers of Lars Von Trier.

(Gasp! I just realised I re-watched Good Will Hunting the other night and THAT made me cry! Evil Lars Von Trier.)

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 4

2011-04-21T10:35:00.000+01:00

Posted by Lou The time is 10.00am here in London UK

A film that makes you sad

I once watched Dancer in the Dark. By myself.

I cried hysterically for about half an hour.

The next day at work Bel had to give me a hug because I was still upset.

As Bel describes it, it is "emotional porn".

I would recommend not watching alone.

As a film by Lars von Trier should probably be disqualified, I am going to include an Irish pair as well.

Films about Irish Independence issues always engage me and get the blood pumping, but these two additionally gave me such a weight of personal sadness for the characters.

In The Name Of The Father because it is true, so when ... you know ... I just feel so sad that he didn't ... you know ... to see his son ... you know ...

Plus watching it recently was especially sad now that the great Pete Postslethwaite is no longer with us. In fact, knowing the storyline I started crying a bit in advance.

And The Wind That Shakes The Barley... my goodness. Um, don't scroll down if you haven't seen it. And definitely don't look at the picture.

You're not scrolling down are you?

Okay, so you know how some films give their characters a false happy ending and you're like "this sucks!!"?

Well, at the end of this one I felt like standing up and shouting (through my sobs) "No!! Rewind!!! Make it a happy ending!! I wanna haaaapppppy eeennnnnndddiinnnng!!!"

Pet peeve #10

2011-04-21T01:37:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 12.17pm here in Wellington NZ |

I get so mad at people who refer to things' time period incorrectly.

EXAMPLES:

"Ooh, I love your hair, so retro and 70s!" when hair is CLEARLY in a 60s-influenced back-combed bouffant.
"Great dress, very 1960s looking!" when dress is OBVIOUSLY a tribute to Dior's New Look of the 1940s.
"I like those T-bar sandals, they look so World War II ish" when T-bar style shoes are a 1920s throwback as EVERYONE SURELY KNOWS.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE:

Just this morning I overheard a colleague on the phone:
"Yeah, they've just opened it, over in Miramar. The cinema's been done up completely. It's all in, um, it's in that, ahh - 1940s, 1950s style. Looks great!"

I was resisting the urge to writhe on the floor howling as this went on, as I knew that this person was referring to the Roxy Cinema.

I will borrow a few gorgeous pics from Alice's Niceties blog to demonstrate just how "1940s, 1950s style" this place is. (NOT AT ALL. IT IS 1930s YOU FOOL. AND HOW COULD SOMETHING BE THE STYLE OF BOTH THE 40s AND THE 50s I ASK YOU?)

I mean COME ON!!

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 3

2011-04-19T01:05:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 11.32am here in Wellington NZ |

A film that makes you really happy

I recently re-watched Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet. Yes, I realise this film doesn't have (SPOILER!!) a happy ending, but I enjoyed watching it so much.

When this film came out in 1996, I was pretty much the same age that Shakespeare first intended his heroine to be. And I was just as malleable, impetuous and giddy as your average young teen - be she living in Verona, Verona Beach or small town NZ.

Re-watching the film was such a pleasure. It was slightly worrying how much of the script was sitting verbatim in my head after so many years. And not just the Shakespearean quotations, but the specific delivery and intonations by this version's actors.

Miriam Margolyes tottering about as the Nurse, crying out "Hhhhhuuulieet!".

Claire Danes actually managing to make the "wherefore" in "Wherefore art thou Romeo?" like a "why" and not a "where".

The police chief Prince growling out "All... are... BANISH-ED!!" in the final scenes.

And, of course, Leo doing the same donkey-like gasping bray of a cry you can trace back to The Basketball Diaries and even saw recently in Shutter Island.

It can be a dangerous territory, going back and re-watching the films that influenced those tender years. And yet so many favourites from the 90s are still standing strong: Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Mallrats, Wayne's World.

Any word on Heathers? Can't Hardly Wait? Empire Records? Have you re-watched something lately and found it just made you so so happy, regardless of the content?

Pet Peeve #9

2011-04-16T21:15:00.003+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 9.15pm here in London UK |

Posh chips*.

Specifically variations of salt 'n' vinegar:

Don't fix what ain't broke - salt 'n' vinegar is perfect without the sea, and certainly without the balsamic, malt or Suffolk bloody cider!

Today I actually couldn't even find a single decent sized packet of plain old salt 'n' vinegar.

It's madness!!

And don't even get me started on having seen a glimpse of a packet that I swear to god was flavoured "roasted fox"...

*UK translation: crisps

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 3

2011-04-16T13:11:00.002+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 1.20pm here in London UK |

A film that makes you really happy

Oh this one has gotta be:

Elf fills my heart with joy.

30 Days of Film: Bel's day 2

2011-04-15T01:49:00.000+01:00

| Posted by Bel | The time is 12.46pm here in Wellington NZ |

Hmmm. Clearly by "day 2" I do not mean consecutively :P

The most underrated film

Uhhhhh anything made by a woman?

30 Days of Film: Lou's Day 2

2011-04-14T20:59:00.006+01:00

| Posted by Lou | The time is 9.00pm here in London UK |

First allow me to address the elephant in the room ("hello elephant, that's a mighty fine trunk you've got there!") - yes, by the 2nd day we had failed to make this a daily thing. Thus we have decided it is not going to be a "30 Consecutive Days of Film" kinda deal... more like an excitingly random feast where you'll never know when your next invigorating post about film will appear. Anyhoo...

The most underrated film

An excellent question, and there are two films that stands out for me - the first being Buffalo Soldiers. It is a dark satire about bored American soldiers getting up to naughties in West Germany just before the fall of the wall.

It is underrated because nobody saw it due to the very unfortunate luck of its first screening being September 8th 2001. Starting out as a much hyped upcoming indie release, the 9/11 attacks rendered it immediately unmarketable and blacklisted. The only reason I knew it existed is because it stars one of my all-time favourite actors, Joaquin Phoenix (as well as Our Anna Paquin, Kiwi girl made good). But the film is good - really good.

The story centres around an ever-so-laid-back but smartest-guy-in-the-room soldier Ray (Joaquin) whose modus operandi is to keep his boss (Ed Harris) happy while shagging his wife and running a profitable black market business behind his back. Things are complicated by the arrival of a tough and watchful Sergent (Scott Glenn) who pisses Ray off, provoking him to ask out his daughter (Our Anna) just to spite him. A charming romance, hilarious soldier hijinks, and a bit of serious drama ensue.

The best part of the film is the satire of the military, with the most shocking (and hilarious) occurrences actually being based on true events. The overall tone and theme is perfectly described in an early voiceover: "War is hell; but peace - peace is fucking boring."

The film is also a good reminder of what a charismatic and interesting actor Joaquin can be when playing "regular guy" characters. I'm sure his name will come up again throughout my 30 Days, but I might speak about him differently next time as mock-doc I'm Still Here is winging its way to me from LoveFilm as I type...

The other film I would like to mention is Dirty Dancing. This film is a true one-of-a-kind - beloved by people the world over and elevated to a legendary status that few films achieve. However, as it is a film that largely appeals to women and sits within the cheesy romance genre, it is totally disrespected.

Well I for one think it is one of the ultimate wish-fulfilment stories (is there a man or a woman alive who doesn't wish they had a teenage love affair this epic?), containing one of cinema's greatest lines of dialogue (it doesn't even matter that she isn't technically in a corner), and ending in a dance that is as iconic as Gene Kelly singing in the rain (The lift! The lift!). This is wrapped in a genius blend of cheese and sentimentally, littered with smokin' hot chemistry that makes a clothed ~~foreplay~~ dance seem positively pornographic.

Dirty Dancing - I salute you.